waiting for you...and bringing you home

turkeys,christmas tree farms

2011-12-20T20:25:00.001-05:00


I found these four sitting here the morning after thanksgiving.

reading with Apa

"Gordon the train...a gold dress"

no one cried this year! not ever me.

Backing up...starting with pumpkins, apples, and costumes

2011-12-20T20:12:00.000-05:00

Impecable timing. I write a post about having no picture and then I get my sister in laws camera and it is loaded with pictures from every one of those things. We have apple, costumes, tree farms, thanksgiving, school field trips, school concerts, santa and even a shot of all four of us. (I may need to Photoshop a few together to actually get one decent one but its better than nothing)

So as to not overwhelm, I am going to start out slow and add over the next few days. I thought early fall was a good place to start. Here we are at an apple orchard with Adi's school.

cousins

my handsome husband and his identical twin brother (not really but don't they look just alike? they are actual brothers though)

Belay was NOT ok with a group shot.

ugg I need a haircut

Ok, getting better. At least all four are touching each other.

Much better. Why is it they always turn out better when no one is looking at the camera?

Onto Halloween. Adi was a bride. We thought we might be strawberry short cake but when the time happened she was just way to worried that she would not be beautiful enough. So, bride it was. And she was beautiful. I even made the veil the morning of the party thanks to a friend who pulled through in a time of need with some old lace curtains and a hot glue gun.

Blushing Bride. Notice her something blue?

the pre-k/k class. and little Belay as Rapunzel.

When push came to shove, he just couldn't give up his dream of being Rapunzel. But the wig wasn't gonna fly.

How awesome is this R2-D2 costume? Totally hand made.

Dorothy ( another awesome hand made costume) and the bride

one of my favorite. One of the teacher with Adi and Padme. I love Adi's face here.

Blame it on the camera

2011-12-19T09:15:00.000-05:00

Beautiful fall hike, apple orchard, pumpkin patch, Halloween costume, trick or treating, Thanksgiving day, cutting down the Christmas tree, decorating the Christmas tree, sitting on Santa's lap, wearing matching holiday clothes, school Christmas concerts...These are all awesome things to take pictures of huh? And to even blog about.

I don't have a single photo of any of these things. Nope, not one single photo. But I do have the memories and that's all that matters, right?

Who are we kidding, photos are way more memorable than memories.

I'm blaming it on my camera. If it were fancy I'd take more pictures. On the other hand if my crappy camera ever had a fully charged battery and/or the memory card in it, maybe I'd take pictures too.

The kids are being kids. A lot of whining, a lot of crying, a lot of fighting.

Adi got her first "report card". Its the cutest thing I've ever read. Apparently she has learned all sorts of things the last few months. Including Egypt, Africa, Lewis and Clark, basic addition, letter recognition, sounding out letters, handwriting. She has made some amazing dioramas. The only thing she wants to do is "projects " Any and all kinds of projects. alldaylongeveryday. I could probably get rid of every single toy except glue sticks, scissors, craft paper, crayons.

Belay has mastered preschool for itty bitty boys. He can officially sit in the hall and wait his turn to go outside, he can wait his turn to grab at all the arts and crafts supplies, he apparently only gives black eye's to his sister. He can spit, fly like super man, and climb like spider man. He has a tie. He feel mighty powerful in that tie and wears it most days.

We are getting ready for the holidays around here. Just a lot of hanging out, listening to music, and seeing our friends and family. Maybe I'll even take some pictures.

day in the life

2011-10-24T20:34:00.001-04:00

Wanna hear about fashion forward? Well Adi, Belay and I are all sporting black nail polish. I keep my polish to my toes only but kids are full on mani/pedi. Its totally in right? I figured it was in honor or halloween.

Also, I found (from kohls) something I've been looking for since adi was about 18 months. A kids friendly boom box of sorts but that I could put mp3s on and that the kids could carry around and turn on and off on their own and not break. You know, since our kids are budding musicians and all. But mainly so I could ignore the constant whines for me to turn on music.

I have asked all the fancy electronic stores about this sort of thing with no avail. Then I run into kohls (because I thought they'd have a little fan there, they didn't because apparently its totally impossible to find a fan in october?!?)

And there it was. Priced at 50% off for 19.99$ ( I don't want to admit that I actually considered buying them a fancy schmancy i-pod dock for well over 100$)
A fisher price plastic primary colored boom box with 4 buttons. Play being big and green. The dumber of our mutts could figure it out.

Anyways point of story is that I have yet to actually hook it up to the computer to put tolerable music on it, but we are all lucky enough that it came preloaded with 20 kids songs (my fav of course) so Adi is listening to "down by the bay where the watermelons grow..." (do I need keep going or do you follow?) on repeat. Fabulous. Just faboulous.

Oh and she sings along except she doesn't know the words yet.

I decided to keep Adi home on Mondays cause I miss her too much. Except I have to lie and tell her its still the weekend and then I have to recreate any crafts they did in school so she isn't left out. Then I spent the day pulling Belay off of Adi and plucking strawberry blond hairs out of his finger. It was exhausting. why am I doing this ?

I took them to get halloween costumes today. Since August Adi had plans of being a bride (along with her entire class of little girls) and a friend even gave us a dress we were just on a hunt for a veil. Now Belay has wanted nothing more than to be Rapunzel complete with long blond hair. Since we have the dress already we only needed to get some long glorious hair. So we end up at the halloween store at the mall, first mistake. But this wasn't until after we all got flu shots so Belay was doing his usual post shot limp and claiming that he couldn't walk.

Then we found a wig and despite the big talk, Belay refused to keep it on his head. There were no bride veils, actually there were, but they were black. And we briefly debated what a black bride looked like (no, not like Belay) but said no. Now, the actual plan was to head to the fabric store to make a veil, at this point is no longer an option since I waited till the last moment and now don't have any free time the rest of the week. At this point Belay is flipping out cause he has to pee and the halloween adventure people refused to let me use their "staff" bathroom even though the scene we were making was totally worthy of an MTV show.

So we see a really tacky polyester strawberry shortcake outfit that it too small but Adi squeezes into and she's sold. Then I spot an adorable "country girl" outfit which actually just looked like a way less tacky strawberry short cake costume (the old school strawberry not the new hoochafied one). She agrees and is actually gitty over it.

Belay is about to pee all over the floor and I grab a totally consumer-tastic "James"( B's fav) from Thomas the train outfit. Its awful people. Awful. I've seen them before and have always sworn I would never put my son in it.( I sincerely apologize if you have chosen this costume for your child, but I am allowed to say this because I, in fact, have also chosen this for my kid.)

At this point I will absolutely not make another trip to the mall before the school Halloween party on Friday. I am totally not crafty enough to construct a last minute costume that Belay would find acceptable. And I'm not spending 13.99$ on a blond wig that he won't wear. So James it was and we ran to the potty.

I feel like I have a new notch in my failed as a parent belt today. My kids will be sporting unoriginal, store bought, trendy, consumerist costumes this year. And they love them:)

lets never forget

2011-10-17T21:51:00.000-04:00

I read this on the blog rageagainsttheminivan (written by a mom to 2 biological children and 2 adopted children) and loved it.

"I think that adoptive parents hold a sacred responsibility to acknowledge and attempt to minimize the traumas that can be associating with uprooting a child from all they know . . . even when all they know is a life of abandonment in a third-world orphanage with sub-standard care."

Attachment has been on my mind a lot lately and it is hard to put into words. Really all I'm saying is lets not ignore our children's past. Its okay by me if Belay has attachment issues. That is what I'm here for. To help him learn to attach. Its not always easy and not always fun but it is always important to remember who he is. Even if he appears "perfect" to the outside world, his loss is never going to disappear.

Who are we to decide that our children should be fine because they are now in a loving home. How can we choose to ignore the time our children spent else where. It was real.

For Belay, it may have "only" been 14 months. When was the last time you spent 14 months away from anyone who loved and cared for you unconditionally? When did you last spend 14 months alone with no family or friends? And if you did spend said months alone, would you be the same as before you left? Would you want to let everyone know why you act certain ways? Would you at least want t talk about that time spent alone? Or would you ignore it, pretend it never happened? (Even if you did choose to shove that isolation into the back of your subconscious, it would never leave you. It would find you again, in a less friendly way)

A child has memories, feelings, yearnings for whats lost, even if what was lost was sub-standard.

Lets not forget where our babies where before they were in our arms. Lets go beyond celebrating their culture with food, music, and photographs. Lets always remember the trauma, even when they appear happy. Our babies where not always our babies. We will be doing them a great disservice by ignoring that fact. Lets acknowledge that its okay for our children to suffer from their losses. Even if it was only 14 months. Even if it looks different in my child than it does in that child. That child who is clearly suffering.

Big blue

2011-10-05T20:13:00.000-04:00

Apparently there is a level of rowdiness that goes on in our house that I'm not aware of on a daily basis. I am reminded of this on nights like tonight. When my kids are happily playing with a boy from Adi's class and then suddenly that boy is crying and hurt and my kids are just staring, wondering why the game ended.
Of course, when asked to apologize, they both argued that it wasn't their fault. I realized at that moment that they were kind of right. Neither of them had any idea that a full body slam into a steamroll over the fallen body constituted as anything but fun.
What went wrong in the last 1.5 years? Where did I mess up? This then had me recapping the time when Adi, out of pure excitement, punched Belay in the head. Then the time Belay punted his cousin's cat across the kitchen out of pure joy. And lets not leave out the head lock where Adi was about 3 seconds away from sending her brother to the emergency room or the black eye Adi sported for a while for reasons I can't even remember except I am sure they had to do with a short guy with curly brown hair.
And so goes daily life in Big Blue.

Speaking of life in Big Blue, here are some oldies but goodies.

"We're the three best friends that any guy could have"

A little tea, a little swimming.

A huge pile of laundry to fold. I loath folding laundry.

The amazing new washer and dryer we bought when we moved that does NOT fold that giant load of laundry. But seriously, for the $$ these girls cost it would have been a nice feature.

Breakfast with a fall crown.
Quick story about the crowns... I forced Adi to stay home with me one day, just me and her, because I miss her so much. That fateful day happened to be the day where the class made "fall crowns". Yes, I forced my daughter, lover of all things crafty, projecty, and involving crowns, to stay home that day. While her sweet teachers promised to make one with her, she couldn't bare to go another day without one. One night after school we marched around the block collecting leaves and shoving them into a purse. We then stayed up way to late dumping glitter and gluing pompoms and dried leaves. They were a hit. So much that Adi "shared" her crown and the story of making them every day for a week during sharing time

My "fall" mantle. Is it wrong that I bought fake pumpkins cause I'm sick of them rotting by mid October? Don't worry we brought home a slew of real ones from the schools pumpkin patch fundraiser yesterday.

view from living room to kitchen

from stairs into living room

front porch

Kick ass fence Andy build and the front yard.

The rest of the house is still a work in progress. Obviously since its only been 3 months since we moved. Actually its killing me a little on the inside each day that the coats still don't have a home and our "office" is more like a storage unit.

Summers end

2011-09-26T21:52:00.001-04:00

I love that on September 26th you can wake up and put on a sweater and jacket and be in a sundress by 2:30 and sweating at the park.
I surprised the kids with a quick trip to their favorite park on the way home from school. They were so excited,especially Belay who really misses Adi during the day.

thoughts on today

2011-09-25T20:01:00.000-04:00

First off, I had a really long To-Do list and I did a lot of what was on it. That hasn't happened in a while, so three cheers for me.

Belay told me he couldn't eat his brocolli at lunch because it made his back hurt. Hmmm...he had me for about 10 sec then I smarted up and threated him with missing daddy's baseball game. That worked.

We finally had the chance to go to one of Andy's last baseball games. The kids love going, and there are usually other nice moms to talk to and kids for the kids to play with so its a win-win-win.

I had a half marathon last week and it went well. It's a really tough course, super hilly, both steep and long. I took 5 min off my time from two years ago and 15 min off my time from the first one I ever did (years ago). I felt strong all the way until mile 12. Mile 12 is up hill until the finish and herds of men passed me and it sucked. I got 222nd over all at 1:45:01 (out of 1300 runners?? I think) 30th for the women and 8th in my age group. So. all in all I was pleased. Yes, I'm obsessed with the hard facts of the race and just slightly competitive. I can help it, I truly can't. Because you know what would have made me really happy? Breaking 1:40, yes taking 10 min off my last PR. So, now I may have to go out a do another one in a few weeks.

I had a great cheering section at the finish line including my nieces and brother and sister in law. Of course Andy and the kids were there. (Miserable, cold, wet and not super excited to see me). It was shockingly cold and raining, great for running, not great for moments after the run and/or for spectators.

Adi told me she was working on a Christmas present for Apa-Apa (my grampa) Who passed away when Adi was 2. That lead to our first true conversation about death and she got pretty shook up by it. When I thought we were in the clear she'd bust out with "but Apa-Apa is gonna miss Christmas and ALL the holidays" and then " are Padme and Maya gonna die? I don't want my cousins to die." The kid holds onto things, she was really clingy to Andy after the conversation and highly sensitive. It breaks my heart to think of her worrying in bed at night about her great grampa missing Christmas cause he is dead. I might add that Adi's cousin asked her on Friday if she could have her headband when she died, so guess it's some what of a hot topic around the 3 yr olds?

On a cheerier note(is that a word?) we finally have curtains in the house. Most of the windows now have those white papierish blinds that you push up with one finger and don't have any strings. They are awesome and blend in so nicely. During the day we still have all the beauty of the huge sunny windows, but when it gets dark we aren't in a fish bowel anymore. Yeah!

I really need to take pictures of the new house and post them, so maybe I will actually clean the house this week and then do it. Cause no one wants to see what our house looks like in real life, do they?

How to stand out in a crowd

2011-09-13T16:35:00.000-04:00

Home girl knows how to flare up a boring old uniform.(A few butterflies in the hair, a couple of extra ponytails, a pair of 18 month striped tights...)

And apparently how to properly pose for an "about to walk in late to school" photo shoot.

Somethings Adi is learning at school

1. That there is something called 'star wars' and there is a princess named Leia in it. (music to daddy's ear)

2. how to draw some awesome pictures.

3. how to stand out in a crowd of blue and white.

4. To maybe not be so "handsie" with the other kids (what can I saw, we are a bit of a handsie family, but I guess not every kids wants to have their back rubbed by Adi;)

5.How to acquire as many stickers as possible for helping clean up.

6. How to not nap but sit quietly at nap time(obviously her least favorite time of day, but again she come from a family of "not satisfactory" nappers)

Truly, she is having a blast and doing what any 3 1/2 year old should be doing, learning through play! We are all loving her school and not just cause Daddy is the principal!

cheese

This guy is doing just fine too! Preschool is good for him so far, I think.

There are still tears at drop off everyday but at least they don't start in the car like they used to. His teachers say he stops crying as soon as I leave (guess he needs mom to know who's having the last word on this matter).

He talks about some friends at school and its so cute, the thought of little Belay having his own friends. I think what he loves best is that no one forces him to eat his lunch. He proudly announces when we get in the car "Bay no eat yunch" with a giant smile on his face. Ehh, whats a girl supposed to do with that one, besides feed him that same lunch for every meal here on out until its gone. Not that I would ever do such a thing.

My little school girl

2011-09-06T14:10:00.000-04:00

First day of Pre- kindergarden for Adi.

So excited to be going to school with Daddy finally.

And both her cousins. And to have her Aunt as one of her teachers.

We are on to the 3rd week and all is well. Except that I MISS her like crazy. I keep trying to convince her to stay home, but she never falls for it. I did bring her home after a half day last friday when Belay and I meet her a school for "pizza day/fun friday". Mainly because I didn't think I had the energy to drive back 2 hrs later to pick her up. Moments after getting home and getting Belay in bed I regretted the decision.

pressing matters. what to do. soccer, ballet, preschool...???

2011-08-16T21:34:00.000-04:00

Ok, obviously I know its insane to sign your 3.5 yr old up for multiple activities at once, and obviously I know it won't make her a genius or Olympic athlete (or will it;) but I have a delema. Adi is in love with ballet and has no intention of taking a break. I love soccer and have every intention of making her at least try to play. And maybe I have been waiting 4 yrs since I knew I was going to have a kid to sign that kid up for soccer. I kinda believe I was made to be a soccer mom (or track mom, either way;)

So, Adi is now old enough to play little kickers in the fall, sign ups are happening now, it's cheap and only one 30 min practice and one 30 min game a week. Here's the thing, she is going to preschool, real deal all day 5 days a week preschool (if she so chooses to go of course) and doing ballet. Ballet meets once a week after school and soccer will be once a week after school and saturday mornings.

The obvious answer is to not do soccer. She loves Ballet, will probably hate soccer (the lack of skirts are already causing an uproar in every day conversation)and will love school. But here's the thing, I don't foresee a break in either Ballet or school anytime soon. And I do feel strongly about at least exposing her to different activies.

(Also, I know and see the argument of not doing organized sports at a young age. One thing I wish was different in my youth was doing sports earlier. Yes, I started running competitively at 9 yrs old and there were some seasons of tee ball in there in the early years. But it was not something I really got to do and really wished I had. So, call it a complex if you will, but I plan on ~~forcing~~ encouraging my kids try out lots of things and hope something sticks:)

Ok, so it comes down to this, at some point soon Adi will be forced to try and play soccer. Obviously it would be easiest to not do ballet that season (but that would be extra torture for her )If she hates it then so be it. Do I do it this fall or is that a bit of a full plate for a 3 yr old?

Besides...what if she loves it???

5 years later and still loving it all

2011-08-12T08:18:00.000-04:00

On August 11th 2006 a girl walked down a grassy path, barefoot, to marry the man of her dreams.

A day dream't of for years only to put those dreams to shame. The real thing was better than I ever wished.

The 5 years of marriage equally amazing.

The blessing of two beautiful children,

And I life I could never have imagined would be mine.

Thank you Andy for marrying me.

Oh and 5 years later, same dress different sash. Happy Anniversary Andy. It gets better every year!

so the tables turn

2011-08-09T18:54:00.000-04:00

The first blog back after what seems like a summer of nothing is the hardest, isn't it? Do I fill in the gaps or go with whats happening now? How about that goal to take pictures and at the very least add photos of my sweet kiddos? That sounds like a good place to start. Well, the broken camera seemed to fix itself(whew) but there don't seem to be an pictures, still.

Hmmmm, guess no one to blame but me. There goes that goal. How about onto the present?
Andy's back at work. Where did summer go?

Oh yeah, it went to moving and working and child rearing. For the first time in 4 summers I think this summer really felt like we truely split the load. Meaning I worked out of the home while he worked in the home. Grant it I was FAR from full time this summer (and Andy was FAR from not working at all out of the home). But a whole heck of a lot more than before. Andy rocked out with the laundry, cleaning, moving, unpacking, taking the kids for ice cream part of parenting. And for the first time I wasn't counting the minutes until school started up again. I think we may be onto something here. Truly co- parenting in every sense. I like it!

Mean while I feel that deep sense of uggg way down in there. Summer is over, already?!

Yet, it is not. Doesn't August count for anything? Is 94* not hot enough to still be summer? This August I am not convincing myself that fall is nipping at my heels, because frankly that's what September is for.

When I was a kid school ended in June and began in September. That made sense, that it what I'm used to. But down here back to school shopping starts in July. So while I'm not giving up on August, I am back to school shopping. This time, for Adi!

Her closet is lined with blue jumpers and white polo's, there's a new sparkly pink lunch box hanging from her bed knob, and we've been writing our number and letters non stop for the last week. Watch out New Classical Academy, here comes Adi! Her pencils are sharpened and her shoes are fast!

Happy August y'all.

lame update

2011-07-20T19:58:00.000-04:00

Thought it was about time I at least update that we are all moved into the new house. Big Blue, we call her. ( I just decided she was a girl, has a nice ring to it doesn't it). Moving sucks. No other way to put it. The physical exhaustion was worse than I imagined. Grant it moving from a tiny apartment to a tiny house with no kids is a bit different than moving from a house to a bigger house with 2 kids, 2 dogs, and a cat.
Sadly, the camera did not make the move in one piece. Man, I really hate it when electronics break, its like burning hundreds of dollars. Because even if your kid doesn't beam it into the hardwood floors, its bound to break or stop working eventually. Anyways, guess thats a story for another day.

Back to the move. I have no photos to show of it and none of the new house. We are somewhat settled in though, considering its only been 2 1/2 weeks. Basically both Andy and I are unable to function if the house doesn't feel like home with in a day or two. So basically we have done nothing besides unpack and set up the house since we moved.

Andy did build a fence. A sweet little picket that wraps all the way around the .12 acres of our little yard. He impressed me, he really did. He dug something like 24 post holes (not to brag, but I did about a whooping 1 1/2 all on my own:)

The house is amazing. Totally an adult grown up house. All our furniture fits like it was always meant for the house. Mainly, I am loving living in a neighborhood. All the walking with the kids and dogs, all the runs discovering new streets lined with cute houses.

Until we can somehow get a new camera, my blogs will be kinda lame.

night before moving

2011-06-30T21:07:00.000-04:00

Last night in their room, and last night sharing a room, called for some dancing, snuggling and goofing. It's been a long day, and week, but I think we are all ready for the big move!

We're moving

2011-06-27T07:56:00.000-04:00

We are moving! Thats right, moving 10 minutes across town. After months of house hunting, house obessing, house stalking, houses lost to other people, we finally found the one! The one we raise our kids in, the one we send them off to high school in, the grown up one.

It all started about 4 months ago when we went to look at an unfinished deserted "castle" as we called it. The price was astonishingly low, it was not done being built and it was basically the size of a castle, to Adi at least. We were curious to see what this market had so we went. It was pretty cool and definitely a steal, if you wanted to finish the floors and add a kitchen. But totally not us. Much to Adi's dismay we just couldn't live in such a garish house. Even when Adi sat on the front steps and pleaded "Daddy please buy me this castle."

The hunt was not supposed to continue, but it did. You can't show a lady some new digs then tell her no, can you? Adi fell in love with about 17 of them. Most of the ones with pink rooms or swing sets. Andy fell in love with 2, I fell in love with 2, in total we lost 4 "dream houses" by thinking we had time to think in this market. We were reminded each time that a good property, priced right was gonna go fast. At least we were choosing good properties right?

Months went by, we looked at every house in and out of town. We were constantly torn between moving further out in the country with a little piece of "land" (like an acre or so to raise some veggies, chickens, and maybe even a goat) to the "hip" part of town where we could walk to restaurants, bars ( ha, like we ever get to go out), ice cream, you know the important things. The thing was, we weren't really hip enough to move to town. And our plan was always to move further from town.

Funny how plans work isn't it. We both new the second we walked in the house that we loved it and it was the one. It also doesn't hurt that its 1.8 miles away from the kids cousins, and our brother and sister in law of course.

This new house doesn't come without heartache though. Leaving our neighborhood of Oteen will not be easy. I've made a list of all the things that we will always remember about this house and why it will be so hard to leave.

1. Our neighbors. About a year after we moved in the house across the street went up for sale. I immediately called my "first friend in asheville" Becca, who was looking to buy, to come look. That night she bought it. Her and her partner Dave, and roommate Lucy, have been the best neighbors a girl could ask for. In snow storms we always have someone to play board games and drink wine with, all summer long we have a classy above ground pool to swim in, BBQ's, morning coffee, seasons watching the bachelorette while eating yummy baked goods, a built in dog sitter, cat sitter, house sitter, garden sitter, kid sitter, you name it! Walking to the brewery on Friday nights threw their back yard, stalking other neighbors, shooting street lights out that glare in to our bedroom windows. I guess this list could keep on going but they are neighbors and friends who can't be beat! we will just have to make the 10 min drive to see each other now, but it won't be the same.

2. Our first house.
3. House where we got married and came home to after our honey moon.

4. Where I labored all night in before Adi was born and the home we brought her home to.

5. Where all the labor of paperwork for Belay's adoption took place and the home we brought him home to.
6. The walls we painted and the wall paper we tore down.
7. The addition that was built during the end pf my pregnancy and into the first weeks of Adi's life. (Just imagine a newly breastfeeding mom, screaming infant, and men walking threw your living room with ladders)
8. The insane couple who built our back deck and tiled one of the bathrooms and all the insanity that came along with them.
9. BBQ'S on the back deck

10. the view from the back deck, there is NO other view like it.

11. bringing both our dogs home, as sweet puppies.

12. my constant rearranging that always drove andy crazy
13. The annual Yankee swap Christmas party with the most awful gift exchange ever.
14. All the old neighbors who moved out and all the fun new ones who moved in.
15. The trails behind our house, running, walking, taking the dogs, sledding down.

walk with the dogs in the snow at 9 months pregnant.

16. The nature center being a 1/2 mile walk down the street.
17. The blue jean ball that take place every first weekend of June, too bad we have yet to go.
18. La Posada- best, quickest Mexican restaurant minutes away.
19. The small 900 sq ft 2 bedroom one bath that turned into a slightly less small 1200 sg ft 3 bed 2 bath house that is always forcing us to stay close together and cozy, and to constantly be de-cluttering.
20. Planting a tree over Adi's placenta, which has grown so big and strong over the last 3 years thanks to all the nutrients in her placenta being put back into the earth. Maybe we should bring this tree with us?

21. Planting the Pear tree we were given as a house warming gift by Andy's mom.
22. Planting the Red Bud tree we were given as a wedding gift by our friend Karen. I don't suppose we should take all 3 tree's with us should we?

I'm pretty sure I could keep going, but I won't. This house will be missed. But the next house is awesome and I can't wait to get in it. The past few weeks have been hectic to say the least. Living in boxes and mess is not my forte. We should be in our new house by the weekend so we are trying to make these last few days good ones.

The many moods of Belay

2011-06-25T07:05:00.000-04:00

Look how quickly he goes from this

to this. (notice that little tiny dimple in his right cheek? like the kid needed any extra cuteness)

Preview

Monday at the park

2011-06-20T21:41:00.001-04:00

It's been two week since school has been out and Andy is home all day, except that he never is and when he is I'm not. So, you see, it hasn't seemed much like summer at all. We have also had tons of storms and cool weather the last week so it really doesn't feel right. But the sun came out just long enough for us to get to the park.

I've decided to make a few simple goals for the summer, really they should go way beyond summer. But one of them is to snap a few pictures of every day life and get them uploaded. I often get overwhelmed with blogging because I want to write an essay, like I am now, instead of just creating a few memories. And then I forget it all together. We shall see how I do.

2011-06-09T20:07:00.000-04:00

Summer's here. Kids are getting wilder than ever. Clothes are basically a nuisance at this point. Baths are becoming every night ordeals(who am I kidding, they should be, but certainly aren't) The bath water is brown in the first minute. (Dirt not poop)

***********

Adi had her very first ballet recital. It was pretty much amazing. They were little mice. They all rocked it.

***********

There was an end of the year preschool performance which was equally amazing.

Adi's the one belting out 10 little monkeys as loud as she can in the middle pink.

Belay is having a word explosion. He's trying to repeat every word we say to him. He remains jealous as ever that he cannot go to ballet with the girls on Saturday mornings. In time belay, in time. (you have to be 3)!
The words "wook mommy wook " and "ear a go " (here you go) are a constant source of background music in my life.

***********

Adi is getting a little pay back from the months of crawling in Belay's crib with him in the morning.
For the last few weeks there's been a whole helluva lot more crying coming from their side of the house in the wee hours of the morning. Adi then claims that Belay is in her bed and she doesn't like it one bit.
Belay had been whining something along the lines of " Adi couch" around the same time. Finally, put two and two together, it became clear. Belay is seeking revenge.

When the crying started this morning Andy jumped out of bed to catch it in action. Sure enough, Belay sat screeching right in the middle of Adi's bed while she lay kicking him as hard as she could.

Andy dealt with it, we all went back to bed. And A few hours later Adi asked me with all sincerity if we could please put Belay back in a crib because he was too little to be in a big boy bed.

3 Apa's

2011-05-19T09:23:00.001-04:00

My Grampa is 90. He is the kindest man I know. I have never heard an unkind word or negavtive thought come out of him mouth. His health is impeccable. His health history is limited to some college wrestling injuries. His mind is as sharp as it ever was and he used words like "whipper snapper" and "derelict" in regular conversation.

The only problem with him is that he lives in California.

It didn't seem so far as a kid. Dad's parents always came to visit us. Even with all the miles between us, their presence as grandparents was always among us. As we grew and started our own families the visits became tough.

Before long it had been 10 years, maybe more, since I had seem my California Grandparents. Then Gramma passed away late summer 3 years ago. She was the first grandparent I lost and it hit me. They aren't going to live forever.
I wish I could say that I bought a ticket to the west coast and spent ample time soaking up the knowledge of my Grampa, but its not true. I didn't do anything. I thought about family a lot. I wished we were all closer, but thats it. Grampa was the one who bought the ticket and flew to the east coast and came to my little sisters wedding.
He met Adi when she was about 10 months old. He called her "Little Red". My dad was always "Red" to him.

And again, we promised to make the trip out west to see him, but then Adi turned 2 and her tickets weren't free anymore. Then we flew to Africa, and suddenly we had 2 kids who needed plane tickets. There are always excuses, legitimate or not, but Grampa made it out to see us again! And this time he brought my Uncle too.

Grampa picked me this rose

I packed the kids up to spend a few hours with these great men.

I met my Uncle at my wedding. Sounds crazy huh? My friends couldn't believe it either. The truth is we met once circa 1982. I was a wee tot, probably not even walking. Then I got married and Uncle Tom, my dad's oldest brother, decided someone needed to represent the west coast family. So he came to my wedding and after 24 years or so we "met" again, for the first time. It was wonderful and it didn't stop there. A few years later he and his wife came to my older sisters wedding. They couldn't get enough of us! So by this trip, it feels like we truly are family and its never been any other way.

I also got the added bonus of hearing about some hilarious family stories I had never heard. Extended family is great that way.

Belay was in heaven! There is nothing this boy likes more than a good Apa. And he had 3 of them all together. The original Apa (my dad) my grampa (Apa Apa) and my uncle Tom (Apa Tom).

What a lucky boy to have these men in his life.

Mommy, Adi and Belay's special day

2011-05-09T08:40:00.000-04:00

That's how we've been referring to this upcoming day for quite a while. Adi and Belay were baptized today, on mothers day. I reluctantly gave up "my day" to share with them. Now let me explain. I'm not as selfish as it sounds (well maybe I am :) Mothers day year 2 was spent flying home from a friends wedding in the Caribbean. As Andy argues, I got to wake up on a beautiful island in the carribean on mothers day. Which is true. I then got to spend the next 10 hours on a boat, van, and multiple planes with a crabby 15 month old. Not so fun. Year 3 involved leaving Ethiopia on friday night and arriving home on Sunday night. Grant it I got to bring my sweet baby boy home but in the midst of volcanic ash, less than friendly flight attendants, 40 something hours of not sleeping (am I exaggerating? I can't even remember anymore), a brand new one year old and a not so brand new 2 year old, it seemed less than idyllic mothers day.

Next year, I vowed 52 weeks ago, I will be at home on mothers day. I will enjoy my day. Then time came to set a date for the baptism. After pouring over a calender to find a time when I wasn't working and family could join us, mothers day was all that was left. Hence "reluctantly" I gave up my day.

It couldn't have been a more beautiful day and I am so happy Adi, Belay and I could share our special day. After 3 years of beautiful gifts involving precious stones from my husband for mothers day and 3 years of me begging him to please not spend money on me and just bring me coffee in bed, he did it. Not only did I get an amazing breakfast of chocolate pancakes with flamed bananas, but my coffee was in a beautiful mug painted by my 2 little angels. Super dad didn't stop there, he did dishes, bathed children, stopped fights, cleaned toys and is now soothing a ridiculously over tired 3 year old in bed.

We were blessed with 2 grammas and 2 grampas and an aunt and uncle and a pseudo aunt and uncle to all come partake in the baptism. Andy's brother and sister in law officially became their God Parents and the service was beautiful. Our ministers words touched deep in our hearts as she spoke of Belay's birth mom and the meaning behind both there names. I felt a true sense of community and an outpouring of love in what had previously been an unforeseen place. Belonging to such a community and having a place where my friends and family from all walks of life can join in unity on such a joyous occasion is truly a gift.

My only regrets...not a single photo! I have no idea how that happened. One friend did shoot a short video with his cell phone, so I guess thats better than nothing. I did snap a photo with my phone when they tried there outfits on a few weeks ago. Mind you, the pink socks and green hat didn't make it to the service!

Our first Anniversary of Family Day

2011-05-02T11:58:00.000-04:00

Wow! We did it. We made it year.
One year ago we drove into the care center in a white van with 3 other families. There were a lot nerves in that van on that day. We were all about to become parents again. One was about to be a parent for the first time. Now imagine if we had all been with each other the moment that we gave birth. Strangers until that morning. Pretty intense.

I remember so well thinking to myself "Jane, remember this moment, this is what it all comes down too. We've been waiting so long to know what this moment will feel like" and then just like that it was over. Belay was in our arms and we were a family, forever.

I also remember wanting to capture it on video. But as soon as we pulled into the gates of the orphanage I knew that between juggling Adi and actually seizing the moment of Belay, that it wasn't going to happen. And it didn't.

When we climbed out of the van Adi bee-lined it straight to the slide and all the kids playing outside. We spent the first few minutes outside with Adi taking it all in until I heard a shout that Belay was inside and to come see. And there he was. Sitting in his blue bumbo dressed his best. He cried when I picked him up, then I fed him a bottle and he slept in my arms for the rest of our time there that morning. Then in the van ride home he played obsessively with a blue sippy cup ( still his favorite today).

And the rest is history. Today is a happy day for our family. I know that for some, this day, can be hard. Maybe it was the day your child lost the only family he ever knew. But for Belay, it was the day he got to have arms to hold him instead of only finding comfort in a plastic bottle. May 2nd is not the day that Belay became an orphan. It is not the day that he left the arms of the woman who bore him. Its the day he left the orphanage, a place he will most likely never remember. A place that took good care of him, but not out of the arms of one person who loved him unconditionally.
So, today we celebrate. We celebrate his life, the amazing girl who gave him up, his home land, our trip to Africa, Adi getting a brother, us getting a son.
Noah, Able, K'Tyo, today we think of you guys too! What a great group of little boys! Happy Family day.

And to comemorate I put Belay in the outfit he had on that day. (My favorite token brought back from Ethiopia)

It still fits him:) Well actually I guess the pants are a little on the short side now, but looks like they were back then too.
And a year later, I have no idea how tall little guy is but he is weighing in at 20 lbs(still). I'll take 6 lbs in a year, was hoping for 10 but maybe it all went into his long legs instead.

bonfire and egg hunts

2011-05-01T13:21:00.000-04:00

Well the weather has been nice and the kids have had some fun days.
Easter involved lots of plastic eggs hidden and found over and over all day long.

There was a lot of cousin love involved.

The grill was finally fired up and the back deck went from winter storage to summer oasis.

A fire pit burned in the front and gooey marshmellows poked through really long sticks.

Are there better memories for our youth than roasting marshmellows way past bedtime dressed as princesses and cowboys?

Mommy

2011-04-21T20:53:00.000-04:00

Adi packed up an old canvas sack with some of her favorite family photos and has been carrying it around with her. Every few hours we open up the sack and talk about each photo. There are a lot of pictures from Africa in there, as those seem to be her favorite.

We went out for mexican tonight and on the way home in the car we opened the sack, again, and looked at them all. When we got to a photo of Belay with his birth mom, or African mommy as we say, Belay asked to hold it. While it seemed he first cared more about the cool blue socks he was wearing in the picture, he eventually began staring at the faces. I pointed to his African mommy, said her name, then said "mommy". At that moment his eyes were fixated on her face as he pointed repeating mama mama.

It kinda shook me up. I can't say if it was good or bad, but it did feel important and strong.
Watching my son stare into the eyes of the beautiful woman who gave him birth. The woman who loved him so much she gave him to us. The woman he was supposed to call mommy.

I know these moments will get more clear and more frequent as he grows and his speech and cognition grow too. These moments and talks are only beginning, but this was defiantly our first.

a number of questions

2011-04-19T20:01:00.000-04:00

Does anyone out there have a 3 year old daughter (or son) who regularly stops women on the street, in the mall, at restaurants, to tell them that they look fabulous? Or that they just love their shoes, or how great their skirt is? Because, no joke, this is what my 3 year old daughter does.

I began noticing her quietly comment on how beautiful these women we'd see out were. I guess she couldn't keep it in anymore, and she began approaching them.

While in Florida last week for spring break she fell in love with a fabulous white flowy dress and then she saw the shoes. A simple Turquoise beaded wedge. Thats what broke her. She squealed and shouted "I love your dress and those SHOES" to a woman who was older than her grammas (not that thats very old:) She may have made that womans day.
The same thing happen a day later only we chased a women into the bathroom to tell her how beautiful she looked. Where did this girl come from? She never tells me my shoes are great.

Next question, did anyone see the results to the Boston Marathon? The male winner ran 26.2 miles in 2:03 min! The fastest marathon ever. How does one get there body to do that? I'd like to know. The woman winner did it in 2:22 min. Not too shabby. 8 out of top 10 male finishers were from Ethiopia or Kenya (and 6 out of top 10 women were also). I can't help but feel a bit of pride when I read that. Maybe because one of my kids is Ethiopian and the other's middle namesake is Kenya, as in the country? Maybe it only means something to me because I've been running for 20 years and I would do anything to run like some of those those guys.

Either way, I am in awe.

My last question. Will I even run in the Boston Marathon? (or any marathon for that matter)

Florida thus far

2011-04-13T11:57:00.000-04:00

trains and fedoras

hiding from Appa

kids table

flower coconut soup

with just a touch of rocks

looking through the glass

moves

more moves

a sad goodbye

2011-04-05T19:37:00.000-04:00

I've been fighting it. I've been pretending that we don't have a problem. I sneak off to different parts of town hoping we won't be recognized. I can't seem to just give it up. I'm in denial.

We have no choice but to stop going back all together. I hope there will be a time again in the future when we can reconnect. But for now, we just have to say no.

There cannot be library trips with Belay in tow for a long long time. And lest I forgot, while we have 2 furry members of the family.

It all started when we madethe grave mistake of leaving a library book on the coffee table and the dogs locked in another room, and left for the day. Only to return to nothing but shreds of a hard back novel costing $24. After coming up with different ways of trying to tape the book back together I had no choice but to hang my head in shame and admit that my dog ate the book.

The next trip back to the library, on a snowy winter day after my kids had been cooped up for weeks inside, we were asked to leave. Well actually Adi was asked to take her brother and leave. Yes, a librarian approached my not quite 2 and not quite 3 yr old and asked them to leave because they were running laps around the bookshelves (did I mention we had been snowed in for a while?) What still perplexes me is why on earth that woman didn't come to ME and ask ME to take my kids outside. Yes, my kids show not have been running inside and yes I turned my head away for a moment to look for a book without pictures. So we left, shamed again.

Well as you can imagine our string of library luck only got worse. Another book got eaten and until I pay the $20 fee, which I just can't bring myself to do, we don't get to bring any home. Yet I go back for more. Each time we are there I am asked to take Belay and leave for various reasons. Sometimes its because he is jumping off the tables or dive bombing the chairs other times its because I suggest he lowers his inside voice just a touch and his response ends in, well, it ends in us leaving.

In the midst of all the book eating dogs and wild screaming boy, Adi just sits reading as quick as she can. See she know now that 1. we aren't allowed to bring books home anymore and 2. We may and will be asked to leave at any moment.

What's a mom to do? One child who wants nothing more than to read books and be in a library and the other who banned from the entire county library system.

I think we have to say goodbye for a while. My deepest condolences Adi, one day we will return again.

Why did we adopt?

2011-03-23T08:21:00.000-04:00

I was recently asked to talk about what lead us to adoption, and this is what I said...

"Adoption is born from loss, there is no way around that. But until there are no more orphans left in the world then we can find joy when one less orphan has a mother and one more family gets a child.

There are so many different ways to grow a family, no one way is more or less beautiful than the other. We went to Africa to grow ours.

When I was about 8 week pregnant with Adi, and didn't know it, I was told it would be very difficult for me to conceive. After about a day of mourning the loss of a biological child, Andy and I immediately turned to adoption. Then within the next few weeks when I found out I was in fact almost in my second trimester, adoption never left our minds. And when Adi was less than a year old we began back on our road to Adoption. The decision was easy for us.

Why Africa? We have always held a place for Africa in our hearts. Both Andy and I choose to travel to Africa at different times in our lives and both fell in love with the people and the land. And when we traveled to Ethiopia in May of 2010 as a family of 3, we returned home more than just a family of 4. We returned with Africa in our lives and we celebrate that everyday. Adopting from Africa was always what we were meant to do.

The processes took months of researching different African countries, then months of researching agencies, then once committing to Ethiopia it took 3 months to complete all the paperwork. We were then placed on a wait list to be matched with a child.

After 5 months of waiting we were matched with Belay and saw his face for the first time in a photo. We learned that his birth mom named him Belay, and the meaning behind how she named him. After 4 more months of waiting we were able to travel to Ethiopia and bring him home. The whole process took 11 months and we are grateful at how quickly we brought our baby home.

Last May 2nd we walked into an orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and picked up a 14 month old little boy out of the blue bumbo seat he was sitting in. I was filled with the exact same love that filled my heart when I was handed Adi the moment of her birth.

He weighed a mere 14 lbs and worse size 3 month clothes. His main source of food was still formula from a bottle. We spent that first week with him in Ethiopia cradling him in our arms and feeding him like an infant. We occasionally spooned pureed peas into his mouth, and even tried to feed him rice cereal. I immediately noticed his attachment to that bottle and how he snuggled his bottle before bed while I rocked him. It was the only source of comfort he ever knew.

In the first weeks of being home, Belay was off formula and eating everything. We then felt pretty stupid thinking about how we tried to feed him rice cereal. We went from an infant to a full blown toddler in a matter of weeks.

He went from 2 teeth, to all his teeth by summers end.

The same 10 month old who wasn't able to hold his head up on his own when he got to the orphanage was running and climbing with in weeks of being home. It was a challenge to find any shoe small enough to fit our walking toddler who was the size of a 3 month old.

Now, at 2, We only buy him 2T's and size 6 shoe! Grant it the pants still fall off and he tends to trip while walking, but look how far he has come in less than a year. He came home at 14 lbs, and negative 20th percentile on the American growth chart. He is now pushing 21 lbs, and while he is still no where near being on the growth chart for weight, he is in the 10 percentile for height.

Adi and Belay are best friends and fight like crazy, just like any other pair of siblings I have ever met. Adi knows that Belay is Brown. She talks about it all the time. We celebrate our differences and what makes each one of them beautiful. Sometime Adi will feel overshadowed by her brother with beautiful dark skin and almond eyes. Other times Belays skin color will make him feel different from all the family he knows. These are realities and we will take them as they come.

He didn't need us to save him. There are lots of families who would have been overjoyed to bring Belay home. We were chosen to be part of his life, we are the lucky ones. "

Happy Birthday Belay

2011-03-20T20:38:00.000-04:00

2 years ago today Belay took his first breath. We didn't see it, we weren't there. But it still happened.

Birthdays are, for most, a day of celebration and memories. The exact moment of birth, the weight and length of the baby, the weather outside, the very first breath your baby takes. These are moments parents don't forget about the day their kids were born.

Opening his present from us, a spider man tee shirt. Look how happy his is.

Adi has blessed us with all these moments.

But today is Belay's birthday, or so we were told. 2 years ago today Belay was born from the womb of a child. Does she remember all those moments? What was the air like that day, was the sun shining? How big was he? was he premature?What did his little face look like the moment he took his first breath and opened his almond eyes?

We will never have these memories of Belay's birth. We can not tell him about the day he was born. His birthday does not have the same meaning for us as Adi's does. It can't. We weren't there. He wasn't born from my womb. No matter how many details we can scrape together about his birth, it will never be the same.

Even though we don't have these moments, they were still very much there. We can't say whether or not that day was joyful or painful for her. Was there peace in her heart for the life she created? Or was she filled with fear on how she was going to feed him as well as herself?

Today a girl in Ethiopia is heavy on my heart and in my mind. The courage it took for her to give us this gift of life is something I haven't ever known.

This little boy of mine has brought me happiness, joy, the occasional headache, but mainly love.

We love you so much Belay! So much that we actually let you sleep in Adi's bed with her tonight.

Belated Birthday post and the FLU

2011-03-08T09:44:00.000-05:00

So Adi turned 3 almost a month ago and for some reason I haven't been able to upload pictures of her party or write about it. She was so excited this year about her day. For weeks preceding the day I was hoping and dreaming about her actually being healthy for the first time. Her first and second birthday's were filled with pneumonia and hospital stays. It's my fault, I was responsible for her being born during flu season. It looked like we may have actually stayed healthy this year. Then the flu hit. We have never done flu shots, none of us. This year the kids and I got it back to back. Influenza verses the common cold, which may still last over a week, is so so much worse. I didn't understand this until it happened.I literally couldn't sit up in bed for 5 days. 3 weeks of fevers hitting 104.5 and coughs without catching a breath in between. So Adi spent her birthday morning (3 am) outside with me in the cold air trying to calm the cough, her birthday day coughing up a lung and burning hot and her birthday night at the doctors. It was pitiful.

She had requested mac and cheese and broccoli, her favorite meal, and a pink cake with strawberry ice cream. She didn't touch a bite of it.

I couldn't help add a heart explosion mini heart cakes to the top.

She did muster up enough energy to open some presents and go to the toy store to pick our her annual birthday present from mom and dad. Year one she picked out the Elmo sleeper sofa, still used daily, year two was the princess umbrella, broken within a month, and year three was a strawberry short cake doll. Strawberry shortcake must have gotten a make over from when I was a little girl but she still smells like some weird strawberry plastic combo. So far Miss Shortcake is still getting major play time.

Adi and her cousin Padme, born ten days apart, shared a party. We went to this indoor play place with all sorts of stations for arts and crafts, dress up, bakery, post office, store and all sorts of other fun things. It was a huge hit and even though both my kids were hot, snotty, coughing messes, they had fun.

rocking a baby doll in the nursery

baking apple pie in bakery

the rice table

present time

Maybe next year we will get flu shots, it was MISERABLE.

Funny things my kids say and my new love

2011-03-07T18:59:00.000-05:00

Crock Pot why has it taken me until my 29th year to own one of you? I cannot believe what I've been missing out on. I just made a pulled pork BBQ plate for dinner. It tasted like it does at restaurants. I still can't beileve it! Not only is it amazing to be done making dinner at 10:30 am, but it actually tastes good too. We have months of one pot dinners ahead of us!!

Okay now onto the funny kids.

The 2 cutest words I hear in my day, that are way to cute to correct and they may hate me when they get to middle school for it are ..."Yide" and "Carpedge". Now i'm not sure if my spelling is correct but can anyone guess what they mean?
Belay's word is Yide instead of slide. As in he wants to go yiding at the park.
Adi's word is carpedge is stead of carriage, as in "cinderella and her magic carpedge"
Yide is just so darn cute and carpegde, really? It's just plain genius and am guessing it comes from magic carriage/ magic carpet combo.

And finally, just as funny but probably should be corrected, this is how last night went.

I hear Adi yelling at Oakland (one of the dogs, who happens to have anxiety and constantly licks the carpet)
I ask her to repeat herself.
I ask her to repeat herself again cause I couldn't believe my ears.
But sure enough three times in a row I heard
"Oakland stop licking the Damn carpet!"
I have no idea where she learned that, probably her dad.

updates part 3

2011-03-03T20:41:00.000-05:00

Before I get into the next topic, this morning needs to be recapped.
Somebody decided to turn the alarm off and pretend we didn't have a workout to attend to. After 3 months of working out 5 mornings a week I didn't have much ammo to work with. So I rolled over too.
But, again, I was wide awake. This time instead of embarking on a rainy run, I went to make a cup of coffee. I had a dream of sipping it in bed while I watched the sunrise from our window alone with only the 2 dogs, the cat, and my snoring husband.
Low and behold as soon as I stepped onto the floor I heard the door creek. Fast forward 2 minutes. No coffee, 4 people (actually 2 people 1 big sister and 1 monster; her words not mine) snuggled, giggled, sang made-up songs, and scolded Winnie the Pooh bear for peeing in bed over and over and over again.
It felt like a weekend. Only a weekend before we rushed out the door to ballet, work, church, birthday parties, etc... Just a lazy lay in the bed morning. It reminded me why routine is so important. Without it this morning would have been like any other. But instead laying in bed for 45 minutes with 2 silly kids and my husband felt like a vacation.

I guess the morning got me off to a good start because I then decided that I needed to be super mom and "engage" my kids ALL DAY LONG. I wore a home depot apron with "my name is Adi" on it(because she wouldn't be caught dead in something that ugly) while baking wooden cookies, we painted and crafted, we read read read, and then headed out to learn how to ride trikes.

That last one kicked my butt more than theirs. I pretty much carried 2 tricycles and forced the two of them to walk a really long way the the playground. It ended with a picnic snack and wildflower picking.

Now onto preschool and uniforms. Adi will be wearing a uniform every day next year. It just cracks me up that she is already entering this phase. Andy's school is starting a Pre-k for the first time this coming fall so Adi will be attending( albeit a tad young, but hey having Daddy as the principal/director has to have some perks right?). And since it is a private school and since all the other kids wear uniforms why would the Pre-k be any different right? So miss thang will be dressed in navy blue and white everyday. Luckily for her, they can accessorize as they see fit. I'm pretty sure as long as it's blue, tulle will be just fine to wear every now and again. It's more of a dress code I guess that a strict uniform, but I still don't see purple in her future.

Adi is so ready to learn. She is starting to write her letters. She has A-D- I in the bag now and is working on B-E- L- A- Y and L- O- V- E. She asks questions NON STOP, and while I always found the "why" kids to be annoying I am surprised to find that my own "why" kid is just as annoying. The poor little thing is just so curious and wants to learn everything but I just can't keep up. Pre-k can't come soon enough.

We have begun looking into places for Belay to attend next year. While Adi has loved the preschool she has been at the last 2 years, I'm not sure it's what I want for him. Her class only has between 10-13 kids at a time the whole school is well over 50 kids. I am hoping for something much smaller where he can get a lot of one on one attention and I can be more involved. The trouble is finding a place for a 2 1/2 year old that isn't "day care." He is on the wait list at a place I am hoping works out. (even typing that I feel way to much like one of those families who is stressing about the prestige of their 2 year old and how finding the perfect preschool will effect their college and law school.)
But the reality is there is no public preschool and only so many kids can be in each class so by process of elimination preschools are limited.*sigh*

And might I add that it is only 50% due to my own ~~laziness~~ sanity that I want him with someone else a few hours a week. I do think the aspect of playing somewhere else and listening to someone elses' rules will help tame my 2 year old lion. Also, having a sister and 2 girl cousins around as his only playmates at all times really makes him love playing with other boys. So all said and done I am hoping our little baby B gets to have a "school" of his very own in the fall.

updates part 2

2011-03-02T22:37:00.000-05:00

Moving on to topic 2. Enter belays birthday.

When his birth certificate was issued we knew it was with an arbitrary date of birth, but it was all we had. It was a June birthday and coming from a family of gloom and doom winter births June sounded great! It was close enough we thought, he could easily have be been a 10 month old when we met. But then we met his birth mom and she gave us this precious tiny piece of knowledge. Something tiny enough almost not worth the effort to even think about.

June came and went and we had a party. Belay screamed and napped through most of it. The months ticked on and when people asked his age I hesitated. It felt strange to not know how to answer and inevitably I went into a lengthy explanation that the poor stranger who asked simply did not sign up for hearing.

February came and went and many many parties were had. Between all the cupcakes and party dresses I saw my little boy. On February 10th 2008 at 3:19 pm sweet Adi came rushing out into this world. We will always hold that date in our hearts. It is the moment her world, as she knows it, began. How can I keep that from Belay? We were given a gift. A gift to pass along as we knew how. It may not be much and it may not make sense to others. Why go through all the effort to change a birthday? Summer parties are fun. We have so many birthdays in February why add a March too? Three months doesn't matter. It won't change school dates or sports eligibility.

While all these things are true. It does matter. A glimpse into his world before us. The only glimpse we have to give him. The moment he entered this world. And we were not going to give it to him because its annoying to change?

So on March 20th 2009 Belay entered this world. In a few weeks, although not legally yet, but for all intents and purposes he will be two. We figure as long as we get it changed by the time he turns 16 we'll be ok.

And to not seem like we don't love our second child as much as our first I need a disclamer that the only reason he isn't getting more than a family party is because we just dragged all our friens out in June to celebrate, so we'll give them a break until next March:)

updates

2011-03-01T21:30:00.000-05:00

Every morning this week I have thought of something to write about. It never seems happens. So I'm trying again tonight, montage style.

Topic 1:Sunrise

Funny how the sunrises differently when its pouring down rain. The other morning when the alarm went off at 6 am my workout buddy didn't leap out of bed, instead he mumbled something about not sleeping/crying children/just need a few more minutes...

I figured since I was up and wide awake (funny how when you're alseep by 9:05 pm 6am isn't so scary)I'd go for a run. I got dressed, creep out into the living room where I was met by a bright eyed bushy tailed Adi.
As tempted as I was to just run out that door and leave her with her already sleep deprived Daddy, I didn't.
"Adi, wanna go on an adventure?"

Thats all it took.She was on board. I thought she'd be really excited to see the sunrise anyways.
Then when I actually opened the front door I saw the rain. Not a little drizzle, a heavy down pour. Oh my.
What the heck, we were dressed, Adi could have gone out in a blizzard and would have been toasty warm, plus the jogger has an shade cover thingy. Off we went. In the rain.We ran. It rained. The sun did rise. But that magestic pink sky that Adi adores so much was more of a deer deep purple.

It wasn't what I had in mind and I felt like a bit of a horrid mom for taking my 3 yr old out at 6 am in February in the pouring rain. But she had a cool story to tell once we got home, and isn't that what life about?
Speaking of 3 year olds I have a birthday to re cap still.

Other topics on the horizon; 1.Belay's birthday decision,
                                            2.Preschool
                                            3.The Flu
                                            4.Uniforms
Stay tuned cause it looks like this montage may need a few days to unfold.

Belay's First Sentence

2011-02-23T12:45:00.000-05:00

50* days and trips to the park in February, I'll take it.

Belay in all his two year oldness, I'll leave it.

Well I guess thats not fair is it? Not when he jsut said his first whole sentence.
"Adi, GO AWAY"!

How do you put him in time out for his first sentence? It took every thing for Andy and I to not bust out laughing as hard as we could.

See it happened when me and B were having a snuggle in bed. Adi lately has not been ok with missing these snuggles. So she shoved herself right in between to two of us.

So while Belay needs to learn to share mama, sometimes its ok for him to have me all to himself.

big boy's looking sharp

2011-02-20T15:28:00.001-05:00

It was time. Bitter sweet as first hair cuts always are. They will inevitably make your baby look like a big kid. First Adi with her bangs and now Belay with his fade.

We made a family event out of it, obviously. But it may turn into a "boy date" (term coined by Adi) as the trips continue. We had grand plans of having a dreddy two year old, but this two year old still has some baby fuzzy hair. So he may be a dreddy four year old now?

The process began with tying Belay into the seat with a smock. Then with a threat that if big boy didn't behave his entourage would be banished. Aunt Nikki and honorary big sis Whitney came along for moral support. Lucky we were at the Barbers not a salon because big boy will listen to a man and throw sad help me eyes at a women.

So Baron it was.
He got picked out, sprayed, buzzed, sheened, and talc'd.

He was a champ. Almost no tears from him, but a lot of snot. His entourage on the other hand didn't fare so well.

Our baby is a big boy and all it took was a fade!

Baron told big boy that when he's 9 we can go ahead and drop him off for the day. Oh my, will that day be here soon?
In the mean time I will chase him around the house trying to get "after shots"

Times are changing

2011-02-17T09:17:00.000-05:00

A year ago I was on top of things. I followed blogs, forums, information changes. I knew every bump that every family was going threw in their adoption. But now we're home. Belay is safe in our arms and no one remembers life without him. It's a rare day that I peruse through the agency forum or read the home page news.

Now all that being said, I know things have gotten a lot harder. Before I broke up with my facebook account, I was noticing all sorts of disheartening updates as far as adoptions go.

We waited for a referral. It seemed like forever. From September 11th 2009 until January 11th 2010. So forever was 4 months. Not 22 months or 30 months. We waited for a court date from Jan 14th (date of official referral acceptance) until Feb 24, our first court date. Just over a month. Then we did not pass court. We were bummed, but sadly it had become the norm to not pass until 2nd or 3rd try.
So we were prepared.
March 10th came, and we passed court and became his parents, 2 weeks later.
April 16th arrived and we tried to hop on a plane but a volcano erupted. REALLY A VOLCANO?

So we were delayed 2 weeks. On April 30th we did get on the plane and on May 1st we held that tiny baby for the first time.

We didn't have to say goodbye, we didn't have to leave him alone in an orphanage while we came back home to wait, again. He was ours. And on May 9th we landed at the Asheville airport and hugged our family, all together, forever.

So lets do the math. Sep 11until may 1st = 8 months. Felt like FOREVER. June, when we first signed on with our agency until May = 11 months. Thats it. Not even a year. Felt like FOREVER.
We had a few hiccups, that volcano being the main one. But in the grand scheme of things, that's a hiccup and a small one at that.

So when I read about families who have waited 20 plus months for a referral, 2 plus for a court date. Who then had to leave their kids in Ethiopia while they cam home to wait for months to go back and bring them home, I get shivers.

My heart pours out to them. But still they remain steadfast. Their love for these kids, some whom they have not met yet, conquers all these obstacles.

While I am eternally grateful for the minimal pain we endured to bring Belay to our family, I live in fear of doing what these families are doing now.
I dream of a third. Some times that third has an African mommy too, some times he/she doesn't.
I'm not sure I have the strength to do what I see these amazing people do now.
I have seen the pain of my babies face and not been able to hold him. I've worried about a tiny baby who couldn't gain wait and be able to do nothing about it. I have waited 11 months for you. Could I wait even longer? I don't know. I do know the love that follows is worth it. Maybe I am looking for signs of what's to come. Time will tell.

My birthday girl turns 3

2011-02-10T21:37:00.000-05:00

My sweet Adi,

How can it possibly be true that you were born 3 years ago at 3:20pm on a sunny but cold Sunday afternoon? I never thought we would get past the first hour when I came crawling out of the birthing tub swearing that I would NEVER do that again. Or that second hour of excruciating placenta birthing? Or that third hour of contractions as I tried to get you to latch on. Or that fourth hour of....well you get the point. Those days were long, those weeks were long. Even that first year when we begged and pleaded you to just sleep, even if it was for an hour on your own. But then 18 months turned into 2 years and we flew you to Africa with us to pick up your brother. You were a big sister, and no longer our little baby. Now please tell me where the last year has gone?

I could handle 2, It was nice to say I had a 1 and 2 year old. I had babies still. But no, not now. Now I have a 3 year old. A preschooler, not even a toddler. My fridge is littered with your art work. You don't really like sippy cups anymore (not that I'm complaining). Not only do you dress yourself every morning (well that's been going on for as long as you had the grabbing reflex) but you also dress your brother every morning. You speak fluently,read non stop, play hard, and we are pretty sure you think Belay is actually one of your possessions. And of course, your first real hair cut, done by yours truely. What is it about 3 year old girls with bangs, does it get any cuter?

Your kindness shines, your love of this life is untouchable. You have grown into this funny little girl whom I can have full conversations with. When your daddy comes home from work you ask his if he had a fun day at school. You've also asked him is he gets sad to leave school everyday like you do. There are so many things to write about, sweet Ads. Like how you and your uncle Tim have such a sweet connection, or how important all of your family is to you. Your love is contagious and I am a better person for it.
I love you sweet Adi Kenya.
Happy Birthday.

Maybe I should add that this is the third year in a row you have been sick on your birthday, third year in a row you haven't eaten the cute cake I've made for you, third year in a row you've passed out early on your big night. Here's rootin for #4!!

Love

2011-02-08T20:34:00.000-05:00

How do you know love until you see this?

waving bye to Daddy this morning

show me sassy

Wishing for lots more of this love for the rest of these dark, cold, flu infested days.

February

2011-02-02T19:30:00.000-05:00

Its a big month around these parts. 7 out of 10 of us (on Andy's side) celebrate birthdays in February. Me and Belay remain out casts. Today Andy turns 32 (but Adi is convinced he's 42 and I let it go:)
and cousin Maya turns 5.
5 years ago we got a phone call at 11:45 pm to let Andy know he now has to share not only with the groundhog, but also with a sweet little girl. How will he even compete with that you ask? He doesn't even try.

I am not only lucky to have married such a dapper man born on this day, but I am also lucky to be sitting on my front porch with a lukewarm cup of " I'm getting sick and trying desperately not too"concoction, wrapped in a blanket, watching my monsters throw cups of stagnant water scooped from the broken wheel barrel at each other. The sun in shinning, its 45* in February, we are outside for the first time in months.
Oh, wait, now it's 45* in February and the kids are soaking wet, this won't end well.
Happy Birthday and welcome to the birthing month.

On another note, Belay is starting to do things that make sense. Sense to him and sense to me may not be the same but none the less I am expected to behave. For instance, I walked into his room this evening only to be chased out while"shooshing" me, finger on lip and everything. All I could see was a pile of blankets on the floor but upon closer examination I saw that He had tucked his fire truck into bed and making sure I was quite so as not to wake the truck.

He is learning,some how some way, we are teaching this sweet boy. He even sang the "too you" part of Happy birthday, on repeat to Andy.

Boredom

2011-01-26T08:40:00.000-05:00

I am boring my child to death. I know I know Mom you don't need to say anything.Like mother like daughter.

She announced in the car on the way home from preschool yesterday

"Mom, everywhere I go with you I am soooo bored".

Thats it, just that. Once little sentence out of the blue to let me know what she's thinking.

Thank god she has friends to save her my my endless boredom.

100th post

2011-01-24T20:40:00.000-05:00

Well, it took me a whole year to get to 100 posts. But now that I'm here why not share the last few weeks.
Adi is officially a ballerina. It took a few tries but once she worked up the courage(and had a good night sleep) she ran right into the studio and skipped and flipped and leaped and jumped for 45 whole minutes. When she was done and the door opened to the meager spectators, she came bounding out like she had just won an Olympic gold. She hugged and kissed and chattered on and on about all the moves she learned and what a good shoe tyer her teacher was.
later, at home, she had to spend the evening on the couch because her legs were hurting. What a girl!

Onto the birthdays. February is the month of birthdays in this family. All the girls(Adi and her 2 cousins) are all a week a part. So to continue on with my not so crafty craftiness left over from attempting to make most of the Christmas presents, I thought I give birthdays a go too.Here we have little mini clip board from the target dollar bin transformed into portable art tables. They started out as plain janes and with the help of a little scrapbook paper and mod podge they turned out pretty cool. Mini legal pads clip in perfectly.

Maya's. Hence the "M" and her favorite color is blue. I think this one turned out the best. I love how the colors look together.

Adi's, again with the "A". Love the little hearts, but purple(her fav) didn't mesh as well as the blues.

And finally, Padme's. Some sweet air ballons and a sparkly purple "P". What else could a girl ask for.

These, along with some other treasure will go into handmade "treasure"boxes made from Clementine boxes. We've been going through those delicious little guys like candy and the boxes seemed to good to throw away.

What else...Oh here are some shots of Belay when he has a little spout of Periorbital cellulitis and scarlet fever. His face blew up and resulted in this Avatarish brow line. Poor guy, that was a rough week.

Need a before and after to really see?

Ok, maybe it was worse in real life. Anyways, he didn't look like my kid. No Ma'ma (as Adi would say)!

And today kicked off the week with Andy wrecking the car. The pitiful snowfall last night left a dusty of snow but apparently a sheet of ice too. He slid right down our hill and right onto the main road and right into another car. So now we get to get cozy all week while driving daddy to work and picking him up(because I'm sure a heck not being ditch without a car all week).

Well, there is one more awesome thing that happened this week. I finally did it. I've been talking about it for a year, at least. After 5 years of carrying this mop around with me I cut it all off and I feel GREAT. This change came at the exact right time.

Its the best i could do with a cell phone, myself, and a bathroom mirror. I swear its cute.

Referralversary

2011-01-11T14:48:00.000-05:00

I told myself don't forget over and over for the last week. Jan 10th is our referral anniversary and I had big plans to celebrate. At least I had big plans to make a blog post out of it and maybe a facebook shout out. I failed on all three.

So what, I'm a day late and a dollar short but that doesn't change the fact that a year ago today I woke up with this giddiness inside. I had a son, a beautiful healthy one. A year ago today I rushed to Kinko's where I made a thousand copies of this photo. I showed anyone who would look. I sent them off to grammas and aunts.I framed it and placed a few through out the house. This one photo changed our lives. We stared at this one photo for at least a month before we had any other picture, updates or videos. This was all we had to hang onto for what felt like eternity.

We said yes to this little face. It seems like yesterday. Funny how time works, because the 4 months until we brought him home were the longest 4 months of our lives.
Happy First referralversary Belay Andrew. Thanks for choosing us, we love you.

On Christmas

2011-01-02T22:00:00.001-05:00

Christmas Came. I got sick. Adi got the Olivia Play house. Belay smiled, a lot. We got snowed in. Parties got canceled. Plans got changed. We rolled with the punches. We saw all our family. Santa did not get any cookies and milk. The Rain deer got no food. The dogs ate the " twas the night before Christmas" book so that didn't get read. Peppermint bark did not get made. My house did not get clean. My sticky buns were delicious. Our family had it's first Christmas morning at home with just the four of us. It did not go according to plan. My plans were made in vain. We rejoiced. We were together. We had each other. It was merry and bright!

Go ahead and Laugh. I did.

2010-12-18T20:57:00.000-05:00

I have a new job and a new workout routine (P90x). Hey, don't knock it till you try it, plus I got hubby doing it with me every morning! A task no one thought was possible! It is amazing to feel so great after a grueling hour of working out in the comfort of your bedroom by 7 am, but hard none the less.

Oh, and we have lots of new nasty little bugs invading our house. They jump from one of us to the next, leaving at least 1.4 of us wiped out at any given time. I also have gray sky's, 14* days and blasts of snow. The snow we love. The mountain town that shuts down in the snow we do not love. I have a little boy who is literally climbing up my walls and a little girl who needs to flap her social butterfly wings AT LEAST every other day. Parties being canceled, preschool being canceled, work not being canceled... After what feels like weeks of being locked inside I am about ready to call it quits.
Wait, its only December? Maybe we shouldn't move to Vermont!

The gray sky sunset tonight from my back porch

Maybe its one of the 10 things I just mentioned or maybe being a parent is hard. Belay is a sweet little boy, he truly is, but he has a bit too much fire sometimes. And Adi, my love, is so busy running the world that she has a hard time coming down to my level to complete any sort of less noble tasks.

Today Snow White some how got put on repeat. Andy was sick in bed. I spent the morning at work and the afternoon trying to make something out of this table of what I hope will turn into Christmas gifts.

So when I saw this come running down the hall. All I could do was throw my hands up and cry or maybe laugh, I can't remember which.

My living room looks like this. And it probably will still look that way tonight, and next Tuesday.

Adi "mopped" the floor. I just hope it wasn't with anything that came out of that little potty. Yeah that little one that Belay is so proudly giving himself a hand for using.

While I would really like to forget today. I won't forget that I finally got one lousy photo of my kids smiling and posing at the camera at the same time. Forget the 158 photos we took last weekend in pretty dresses and handsome pin stripes. This one is going out in the mail this year.

Teacher Adi

2010-12-11T18:40:00.000-05:00

Since I use this blog as my "baby book" I feel the need to record some important information. Two days in a row, to multiple different people, Adi has announced that she want's to be a teacher when she grows up. Maybe because her Daddy is a teacher? Maybe because Boots, in her "Dora gets a job"(or something like that) book, wants to be a teacher. Either way, she has said it twice and I think it is so cute. It's a big moment when a little guys first announce these things, right?

Unexpected love

2010-12-06T19:41:00.000-05:00

Today we had an unexpected, to me at least, snow. In our family and in Western NC snow, no matter how scant, is a snow day. Andy's school is canceled, preschool is canceled, my jobs are (yes, I have two now. Did I mention I started back to work as a pediatric nurse again?) of course, not cancled. But today we all stayed home.

So Adi called her cousins on her princess phone or maybe it was her calculator phone. Either way, I had to help with the invite to come over and play. Now, we all know how getting out of the house with 2 kids all bundled up and driving across town in the snow can actually take all day, but Adi didn't get the memo. Well she waited and waited staring out the window, pushing redial on that phone over and over until finally they pulled in the drive way.

Three little girls screamed and jumped and tossed coats and boots and without so much as a kiss hello they bee lined it to the toys. After a little while I had to go sneak in and see what was going on. I wish I had a photo of it, but really a photo would have done no justice. Let me paint a picture. I don't have all the right words to really show how beautiful this moment was but I'll try.

A few months ago, in the kids room, we cleared out the floor of the closet, piled it high with blankets, added a light to the wall, stacked book in sideways boxes and called it the "reading nook". It is a magical place. I crawl in there daily to "clean up books" but maybe I'm just secretly wishing I was three again?

Anyways, these three little girls were all cuddled up sitting in the nook sharing a bowl of trial mix. I heard giggles and whispers. These three little babies aren't just babies or cousins, they are actually friends. There was an entire conversation going on in there. One with meaning and purpose. One that seemed pretty important to these girls. One that was not okay for a little brother to be part of. Then all I could see were these almost 3 and almost 5 year old girls as preteens giggling and gossiping as far away from there parents as they could get. I saw them as best friends 4,6,8 years down the road.

Their eyes were filled with nothing but joy and love and a touch of honest concentration. My heart sang just a bit and a tiny tear might have filled in my eye. It was a moment of pure unexpected happiness for me.
Later when I asked Adi what they were talking about she said they were whispering " I love you!"

Who knows, maybe they were.

Broken little bones

2010-12-02T14:02:00.000-05:00

Well that possible broken foot turned into a real broken foot. After days of watching Ads hobble around I sucked it up and brought her in for an x-ray. She was a trooper! She picked a purple cast, is anyone shocked?

After crying out that it felt too bumpy to walk and another 12 hours of me carrying her around she decided to give it a go. She is now crawling or hoping or dragging that beautiful purple cast around the house like its nothing at all.

And what really rocked her world was the picture of Dora and Boots that daddy drew on it.

Her only concern now is how in the world is she supposed to go to the library with that thing on her leg?

awww man

2010-11-30T20:18:00.000-05:00

Maybe there still need to be posts about how and what the kids are up to. Maybe all the cute pictures are just me being lazy? Maybe we need to remember the good with the bad? So, in honor of it being the Christmas season I will write about the good and the bad.(I'm not really sure how it actually relates to Christmas but it seemed to fit the bill of the season. Maybe it can be like the song "he knows if you've been bad or good...") And I know we've been singing that song to a few wee ones in the last few days.

I don't know if its the age, the moon, the rain, the season or, most likely, gramma, cookie and juice withdraw. Whatever it is, we have had two wild ones the past few days. Is it normal while with gramma to consume unlimited cookies and gallons of apple cider, to have an endless stack of books being read out loud at all times, to run around like a banshee hours past bedtime? With our grammas it is.

But, back on the homestead it doesn't fly. Not that reading isn't a wonderful thing to do with Adi, but I cannot sit and read her 15 books without pause to even catch my breath. And well the juice and cookie speak for themselves, right?

In the midst of timeouts, 21 month old and almost 3 year old plotting on how to take over the house, stage diving from the coffee table, near stitches, and near broken feet we managed to put up a Christmas tree, decorate it, and throw the rotting gourds onto the front porch.

In the blur of regaining life after the thanksgiving coma a little voice has been singing sweetly for all to hear ...

sung to the tune of Frère Jacque
"Bells are ringing, bells are ringing
Christmas is here, Christmas is here
Happy birthday Jesus, Happy birthday Jesus
Awww Man, awww Man"

I'm just guessing here but I'm thinking that last verse is supposed to sound more like Amen.

I am also guessing, although it has not yet been confirmed, that this may be her Christmas play song at school.

Alright I was not going to add a photo but how can I leave these out?

Helping daddy put the angel on top

Papa love

Anyone think its possible for Belay to not smile for a picture? cause I don't.

a girl who is very serious about tree decorating

very special guests

2010-11-19T14:46:00.000-05:00

A few of Adi and Belay's Aunts came for a North Carolina visit. Due to the nature of my family, globe trotting is nothing new. A family that lives down the street, what does that mean? We grew up moving every few years. New towns, new cities, new states, new countries. Nope, not military; academia.

As adults, my sisters and I did what we know best. We moved. Spread from coast to coast with dabs in the middle, this crew attempts yearly gathers of all, but that rarely happens. Now, we take what we can get and enjoy time with whom ever can get where ever.

This trip we were blessed with Auntie Chrissy all the way from L.A

We got this city girl into the country.
The day began a bit eerie, but we soaked up every bit of country anyways, hoping for enough left over to ship back to sunny L.A

Mary came down from Maryland.She is hiding there behind Belay.

We soaked in fall.

For a family who is spread far and wide my kids are lucky to have this time to spend with there Aunts. And they sure did live up to there names.

We got a little extra time with Mary. What a day we had!
I made us, what I thought was at the time, picture worth MBLT's (BLT with a twist of mozzeralla). In hindsight maybe they were not so picture worthy, but oh so yummy. Same goes for those "latte's" I made.

We played. We made Aunt Mary run errands with us, go to the park with us, play outside with us, go to the grocery store with us. I bet she had never had such a fun vacation.

She even participated in post bath, pre bedtime, princesses song dance party complete with flashing, glowing ghost light necklaces. She even taught Adi a new move, which was practiced night after night long after Mary left.

these last photos are from my not smart phone camera

But the moment that Mary won her place in Adi's heart was when she agreed to read books to her. After she did a little work on the computer. Mary may have thought that Adi would have forgotten about the promise. Mary now knows that Adi never ever forgets anything, just like her mama:)
Adi waited and waited so patiently. It was totally worth the wait.

I just have to add one thing....

The other day after getting off the phone with Mary, (who is waiting patiently to become a mommy) I had this conversation with Adi

ME: one day Mary is going to have a baby too.

ADI: (with a little worried look in her eyes) " But not me right?"

ME: " No, a different baby, not you. He/she will be tiny, like your dolls"

ADI: " Oh, and can she be brown and white like me and Belay?"

ME : "Maybe Adi, maybe she/he will be brown and white, but he/she may be pink too"

ADI: "I'd like her to be pink the best"

disclosure: Adi put it upon herself to deem Mary's baby whom may or may not exist yet a girl.

Crusin'

2010-11-17T20:59:00.001-05:00

We did it.

We left the kids and went on a cruise.It was our first time crusin...can you tell?

We acted classy and fancy and like Sea Captains.

We went in honor of our friends Kristie and Rob to celebrate there wedding.

We tried and tried to get a swoon worthy couple picture of us...

It never happened. Are you sick of looking at us yet?

Then how about his couple? We got lots of swoony pictures of them...best friends FO EVA!!

And this couple, much cuter than the last one.

What a good looking crew huh?

Andy got to walk down the aisle, again.

We had a blast, but at the expense of a little heart ache. There were 2 little buggaboos weighing heavy on our minds. It was 4.5 days and 2.5 days too long to be away. They got to spend a wonderful amount of time with their beloved cousins and Ama, to whom we are forever grateful for. Andy and I got to spend a wonderful amount of time with our friends at their wedding. But when it was all said and done, we just prefer to spend a wonderful amount of time with our kids.

Remember when vacation meant days of lingering over coffee late into the morning with nothing but the view ahead to think about? Well those days are long gone. Sure, we can linger all we want but our minds are always on these kids and sometimes it seems easier just to stay put right were we are.

Back in the homeland, one crabby patty woke up on the wrong side of the crib this morning and fed his cereal to the dogs and the other one crawled into our bed singing giberish at an unsightly hour and covered make believe boo boo's with every band-aid in the house all before 7 am....glad to be home but maybe I need another vacation?

Halloween

2010-11-04T10:06:00.000-04:00

I slipped a few Halloween pictures into the last post, but here is the gist of how it all went down.

Adi was a "flower fairy princess"

Cousin Padgers was also a "flower fairy princess".

Padgers coined the term and Adi fell for it right away.

Halloween evening came and while we were trying to assemble all the kids into what was supposed to resemble 2 flower fairy princesses, 1 "deluxe" Ariel complete with bright red hair, and 1 Peter Pan not to be confused with Robin Hood, a switch happened.

Adi had been swooning over Padme's dress for weeks now.

Padme suddenly wanted nothing to do with her dress.

Adi, seeing the beautiful original flower fairy princess dress just laying, unwanted on the floor, jumped at her chance with it.

Padgers, eyed the other most beautiful dress in the world and we had 2 beautiful Flower fairy princesses.

Both with smiles on there faces.

One lady asked Adi what she was dressed as and she promptly replied "Padme".

Post switch

Can you see her wanting eyes in the background?

Still happy with her version of the dress

Belay, seemed to know what to do right away. He marched right up to the first house with bucket held high. Do they celebrate halloween in Ethiopia? Cause this kids has done this before.
Last night we had our social worked come over for our 6 month post placement visit and when she knocked on the door, Belay opened it with bucket held high yelling "ich er eat " (trick or treat). The poor lady, she came empty handed and little man had no intention of letting her in without a treat.

Adi ate purple cupcakes. Does it get any better? Not if you are 2.9 years old and your favwit color is purple and your favwit food is cupcakes.

We carved a pumpkin. Adi was less than thrilled with the processes. But the end result was worth it, what with those triangle eyes and everything. Especially when you are 2.9 years old and your favwit shape is a triangle.

Belay is thrilled by everything.

These pictures beg the question " are you putting one dread in your sons hair?"

All in all it was FUN! I sure am happy its over. Halloween wore me out.

Is there something slightly condescending in Adi's face?Or os she just being the great big sis that she is?

6 month as a family

2010-11-02T14:50:00.000-04:00

Today marks the 6 month period of meeting Belay and becoming a forever family. In 6 months he has gained probably close to 4 pounds(I'm not entirely sure) and maybe 3 or 4 inches in height. He went from being a baby whom we cradled while feeding him a bottle, to a running, eating everything, has all my teeth kid, within weeks of being home. He has been home with us longer than he was in the orphanage and in 2 months we will have had him home as long as his "Africa Mom" (as we call her in our house) had him. Tomorrow is our 6 month post placement home visit and November is Nation adoption month! Its another big month in our home.

Belay Andrew, you have changed the lives of 3 people. No, you've changed the lives of 17 and counting people (all you cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and the list goes on and on and on). We all love you so much. We have all been opened to a new world of what adoption means, of the beauty of Africa and Ethiopia and Addis Ababa. Although, when I look at you all I see is my son, my little boy who was always supposed to be my family. Your exotic brown almond eyes and those gleaming white teeth don't strike me as exotic anymore. I forget that you and I don't share the same DNA and when I see pictures of you and your sister together I forget that all families don't look like ours. Belay, our little number one, our first, our boy above all others, we love you.

Why are you leaving us so soon October?

2010-10-28T19:35:00.000-04:00

Days when sick eyes look up at me and foreheads warm the back of my hand within seconds it seems best to let go of all plans and get through the day. But when those days fall in late October when the thermometers say 64* instead of 82* or 42* and the sun pours from the clouds instead of rain and the gentle breeze cools down any hint of too much sun and it is so perfect that all you can do is stare at the colors and wonder why every day can;t be this way, then when those sick eyes look up at me on those days, letting go is a whole different thing.

It wouldn't be so hard if October wasn't leaving me. If this time of year didn't pass with the blink of an eye. If it were yucky ole January I would succumb to those nasty little viruses and snotty tissue and curl up with my little germ covered monsters all day. But today, really? I missed you today?I missed your reds?

Your yellows which even make the power lines look nice?

And the blue!! Oh my, just because the reds, yellows, and oranges hog the show, lets not forget about the blue!

Instead we flipped and flopped and wiggled and squirmed and learned about all sorts of new TV characters.

While 6 loads of laundry took over the living room a little boy looked so desperate to escape. So we did. We left that mean old pile of laundry on one couch and that sassy sick girl on the other and ran out long enough to want more. So much more of October.

where are we going and how do I get there?

2010-10-24T20:38:00.000-04:00

I've been struggling with my posts lately. I have, literally 6 unpublished, half written, thoughts more like, that are going no where. There must be capable of thinking a full thought still, right? It just seems that mid-thought, I inevitably find myself sounding redundant, boring, self indulgent maybe (please tell me the latter is not so). Then I wonder where this blog is going. Then I know where its going but don't have the words to make it happen. Humph!

Thats where I'm at.
Tonight I am going to write about adoption, that is what got me started on this after all.
Actually I think I'll tell an antecdote instead.
The other night I ran into a friend who told me about a friend of hers who had also adopted from Ethiopia and lives in the same town as us. My friend told her friend about us and our little boy. Her response was "Impossible, I know EVERYONE who has adopted from Ethiopia in this town. If they really had an Ethiopian child then they would have come to the local Ethiopian group."
There you have it ladies and gentlemen. Its simple math. If A + B doesn't equal C, then it is not true.
It is not possible to live in a small town with lots of other families whom share a common ground and not be part of that group.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am all about exposing my son and my family to families that look like ours. I absolutely want Belay to know other children from his birth country. But seriously? Can we do it on our own terms?

While we were not spending time with families who we do not know, we were busy making new friends at the park.. It was a big moment for Belay as he fell hard for an almond eyed, smiley, brown skinned little girl. I'm not sure if it was the fact that she was his age for once, as in not one of Adi's friends, or that she looked like him, but it was love and that was all that mattered.

Back to where this blog is going...tomorrow it will be heading in the direction of recapping a very special weekend of visitors.

A date with the Prince and Princesses

2010-10-06T21:12:00.000-04:00

I took Belay on a special "date" this morning. Just me and him. Mommy and Belay. I had coffee. He had a cupcake. Sounded like a good way to start the day for us.

We started to wake up slowly.

Got a little goofy and thought we'd try some fancy moves out.

It was a good first date. I'm hoping for a second one soon.

Our day ended with our super fun cousins who came over for dinner and the hit release first time viewing of Beauty and the Beast. It was complete with a boat nest of blankets on the floor and a never ending supply of cookies(we were all so glad the oldest cousin is tall enough to reach up on the counters and grab the cookies just in case an adult wasn't available to hand them out on demand).

I think tonight was our first later(of course by later I mean dinner at 4 movie at 5) play date and it was a hit! Will it be Cinderella next week?
There was one incident toward to end of the night when the Ariel doll became a hot item. After a few tears I made sure all three girls had a princess in their hands. Well someone's feelings were still hurt. Poor little Belay sat empty handed. A few snuggles with Snow White did the trick. And the night ended flawlessly.

After

2010-10-04T20:11:00.000-04:00

Remember this?

Well how about this...

There is something about these 2 trikes parked together that just makes me smile.

Yes, those are rocks in the sand box. I told you they loved rocks.

How cute will my mums and pumpkins look there as soon as I get my act together and fallerize my house?

We laid brick, unloaded mulch, painted trim, threw a few planters in the corner and voila! We are by no means done. The brick was done months ago, so was the beginning stages of all the trim work. There are still 3 more sides to our house with cream trim. I'm especially fond of the 2 little tricycles parked on the path

learning and re learning and learning again

2010-09-29T20:20:00.001-04:00

So far letting go has been a good thing. Also, engaging your kids seems to pay off. Adi has reached the age where a planned activity and guidance in doing that activity will buy me at least 10 if not 20 minutes. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but it seems like eternity when wild man Belay is hot on the loose. Wild man, on the other hand, is of the age where a planned activity results in fraid nerves, a lot of shouting, a headache, tears, and 45 minutes of crying in his room while trying to "pull it together" to rejoin the family.Ahhh, the things you learn day by day when parenting your second child. For instance, or should I say for another instance( is that a word? probably not, but I like it) Little boys do not slowly fade. Little boys play until they pass out. It is 100% or 0 %. Telling Belay that it is time to leave the park is the meanest most horrible worst thing I can do as his mom in one day. Especially when he has finally mastered the entire park. There are no off limits anymore, he can climb, slide, swing, jump, shimmy, and scoot with the best of them.

Back to today. It was the first real fall day in my mind. Chilly enough for a sweater but sunny(until the rain came of course). So, in honor of such a day I suggested we bake cookies, oatmeal spiced cookies. Adi was thrilled at this suggestion and grabbed her apron and even scooted her little chair up to the counter. This was the first time I actually "baked" or let her help in any matter in the kitchen.

She did great. The cookies were yummy even though they came out kinda big. And we all enjoyed eating them when daddy got home and the clouds rolled in. Well all snuggled up on the couch with big glasses of almond milk (the most delicious beverage in the world) and a plate of warm spiced oatmeal cookies and some fleece blankets.

Of course, twiddle dee and twiddle dum got the lick the mixing spoons.

Has he ever had anything so good?

Post cookie baking dance party (a regular occurance at our house) check out those moves of Adi's in the back ground.

Still smiling, just cause.

After all was said and done and jammies were on, Adi resquested Andy to take some photos of her and she posed herself this way(what 2 yr old does that?) The sky out of our window actually looks really cool as the storm was blowing through, cool enough to follow the crazy dance party picture...maybe not but a close one at that (wow that was a really long sentence, and post).

I am letting go

2010-09-27T22:17:00.000-04:00

Today I am starting fresh. Well, maybe tomorrow since Its 9:51 pm, not much left in today.
Tomorrow, I am a Mom, a stay at home mom. I am not an unemployed RN. Will I ever be an employed RN? I hope so, but in the mean time I am going to be content in the place that I'm in. This job search has been the hardest in someways and easiest in others. My family won't be living on the streets without this job, the bills will be paid, life will go on as it has. Unlike all those other new jobs I've had in my life this is the first one in my "field," this is the job that I don't plan on "quitting when it sucks" (and god knows I've had enough of those.) But why has it been so difficult? The economy for one, yes well all know that its one of the hardest times to find a job in history, but I have to add that those exact words were the ones I was hearing in 2003 when I graduated college the first time and couldn't find a job. The town we live in, yes, all of us who choose to live in this amazing town in the Blue Ridge Mountains, have had to make sacrifices somewhere (usually in way of employment.) And those who landed the dream job in the dream town do not bring home the dream pay check.

But, an unemployed RN, is there such a thing? I, like most, didn't think possible. But I guess anything is possible when times are tough. So if you're out there reading this and need a flexible nurse for a great practice on a part time basis, with above average pay, I'm you girl (just kidding! ...or am I???;)

Back to today (or tomorrow I should say), I am accepting where I am in my life and letting go of the search in hopes that when the time is right for my hodgepodge family, this dream career will fall into my lap.
*honestly, who does that happen for? Not me, I gotta work my tail off for the things I want!

Tomorrow these little boogers are my job.

Seriously, who does the little Ethiopian think he is with that smile?

This is my life

2010-09-21T22:14:00.000-04:00

One is sick, one got shots, none of us slept much last night. It was a hard day. Might I quickly add that the one that got shots has spent the rest of the day limping around with a huge pouty face and acting like his legs might actually fall off. After the previous day of tantrums, timeouts, and higher than normal voice volume, I felt sorry enough and let him lay on my lap all afternoon with a bottle.
Now, onto the one that is sick. First mind you that she was not sick enough to say no to a quick jaunt down the the nature center( an animal rescue center/zoo of sorts for our small town which happens to be the only thing within walking distance of our house.)

**********

Their favorite thing to do at the Nature Center is to play in this little log cabin. I don't blame them. I like to sit and imagine what life was like a century and half ago. Today, Adi found a spot by one of the big open windows in the cabin which over looked the sheep and goats. When I glanced in to check on her she was perched up at the window, bent arm with a small fist tucked under her chin, gazing out to the sheep and goats. When I asked her what she was doing she said " this is my life mama" with a huge smile on her face. Can a 2 yr old be that deep? does she wanna be a farmer when she grows up? is she a farmer now?" I'm kicking myself that I didn't snap a photo but without the camera my only option was my phone camera and obviously I was to busy gabbing on it to take one.

a much anticipated fun day at the apple orchard

2010-09-17T20:20:00.000-04:00


The "cheese" face


Adi's "cheese" face


The excitement of finally being at the long awaited apple orchard


Uncle Tim. One of Adi's favorite people in the world.

HELLOOOO BELAY!

Best big sister in the world!

yum


yummy

Yummy like Maya's sassy belt


Padme still deciding which to choose


wagon ride through the orchard


The best shot of all 4 cousins we could get...thats why people hire photographers or end up at the mall in one of those picture places...

whew. what a day!

Things that make me happy

2010-09-16T22:23:00.000-04:00

Pink tutu. Pink cheeks. Glorious long hair blowing in the wind. Andy's sweet smile!


My son dressed in a crown, one high heel and no pants!

The sky is waking up

2010-09-14T20:26:00.000-04:00

Have I mentioned lately how much I love these two?

They got matching Halloween skeleton jammies from gramma and I had to attempt a photo of them together. This fuzzy cell phone shot was the best I could do.

In the mornings Adi climbs into bed with us. I'm sure Belay will too, once he is free from the cage we call a crib. The last few mornings Adi has whispered, to whom ever was listening, that the sky is awake and time for us to wake up too, but the trees are still sleeping so we have to be quiet. See the sky was light and turning blue while the trees still look black in the shadow of the rising sun. She has also been giddy at the sight of the sunrise telling us there are 2 pink skies (one sky out of each window). She never ceases to amaze me.

While we moan and groan at sound of he feet pounding the floor as she races down our hall at the crack of dawn, I secretly can't wait until there are 4 feet pitter pattering down that hall and 2 voices telling us the sky in awake.

"Babies"

2010-09-06T21:58:00.000-04:00

We watched the documentary "Babies" tonight. It follows the early years of 4 babies around the world; Japan, Mongolia, Africa, and of course, the US. It proves that babies will be babies, kids will be kids, and siblings will be siblings, no matter where in the world they live. The opening scene is of two African babies playing with rocks and a plastic water bottle. Within minutes they are hitting each other and the younger brother bites the older one. The contrast of the scenes are anything but subtle leaving me feeling somewhat embarrassed to be American (Although the Japanese weren't too far off from the Americans.) How should I feel after seeing the baby American sitting in baby music class(not that my babies didn't take baby music, because they did) to then pan back to the little African licking up water from a mud puddle only to be joined by his laughing brother and the Mongolian boys crawling around with the cattle and sheep giggling and smiling? Embarrassed is the only word that comes to mind.

This brings me back to the mango and ginger root story Andy and I like to tell. We traveled to an island called Dominica (not to be confused with the Dominican Republic) when I was about 8 weeks pregnant with Adi. Being newly pregnant with our first child we were quickly captivated by a little boy we met there. He must have been around 8 months old and was walking. The only toys we ever saw him play with were a mango and a ginger root. He was an obviously happy child and obviously well developed seeing as he was walking well before the norm.

On our return back to the states we began spreading the word that Baby Einstein videos were not, after all, the only way we can have smart babies. Who would have though? Nature, love, attention, a few objects to hold in the hand, that is all our babies needed! Let me quickly say that our children do own more than a bowl of fruit to play with, not that it hasn't crossed my mind to leave them with nothing but apples as I wade through princess dolls and singing dump trucks. In fact I am embarrassed with the amount of things that they own. The fact of the matter is, we BUY them these things. It makes them happy and in return we are happy. Then the new shinny toy gets swept under the couch or lost on the floor of the car and forgotten by the happy child. The child is still happy, and we buy them MORE.
Its a vicious cycle. One that I think I'm not alone in. We fight it but we lose, a lot.
But when it is all said and done, my babies are most like the....drum roll please.....Africans. And not just because 50% of them are African, but because they are happiest when left alone outside with unlimited dirt and rocks!! Where ever we go, they find the rocks. The rocks usually come home with us. And in lieu of sand, our sand box is filled with rocks.

updates

2010-08-27T22:07:00.000-04:00

Belay

At almost 15 months, or almost 18 months depending on which birthday we go by you are just shy of 18 pounds, according to our bathroom scale whose accuracy is questionable(on the heavy side, of course.) You began walking within a few weeks of getting home in May. You run and climb on everything. However, your favorite past time is to jump as high as you can on Adi's bed and then leap onto the floor landing on your tush as hard as you can. Then you laugh and laugh and do it all over again.

Every hour of so you come looking for a good snuggle which must always turn into a wrestling session.
You are filled with laughter. Although we rarely hear it because you laugh silently. Its the funniest thing to see you head thrown back and your mouth wide open, but no sound coming out.
Speaking of sound, or lack of sound, you are finally learning some words. Up until about a week ago you only knew "Mama, Dad, Hi, and Uh oh "
This week you learned "cheers, Nack (snack), all gone, all done, nose, dog, wha (water), here (as in 'take this from me I don't want it anymore') sho (shoes),cheese (but only when your picture is being taken.) You are a huge ham. When a camera comes out you stop what you're doing and strike a pose for at least a min or two, long enough to capture 5 or 20 pictures.
You have 10 teeth and at least 2 trying to come through.

You LOVE shoes. I can't say enough about it.You LOVE shoes.
Favorite foods: Bananas, raisins, yogurt ,& graham crackers. You could live on those things alone, but you pretty much love everything, and if you don't love we know it.
You dance, you clap, you foot stomp.You won't watch TV, although I have tried to convince you otherwise. You don't love to read, but you love your trucks.
We have to stop and watch any and every larger vehicle that we see, including an retiree van parked outside the YMCA. You have an amazing arm, and aren't fond of the no throwing in the house rule. You are all boy!

You still love your Dad, but Mom is growing on you. Adi is your best friend. You really don't like being left out. If Adi and Mom or Dad leave you home with the other parent, your little lip starts to quiver and the tears flow.
Tonight, after dinner, you grabbed Adi's princess crown and ran as fast as you could away from her. You must have been eyeing it for a while. She ran as fast as she could after it and tackled you and took it back and placed it back on her head, where it belonged. At that moment I knew you two were meant to be siblings.

Adi. Oh where to start.

You are 2 1/2 and seem to know everything. You still love to read, you would read books all day. You love fashion. I often find you snuggled up with a skirt or a dress under your arm when I come to tuck you in at night. You change clothes all day long. You only wear skirts and dresses and lately you have taken it to a new level and only wear skirts made from tulle. Purple is your favorite color and you have discovered night gowns, or sleeping gowns as you call it. Dora the Explorer is your favorite show. You still love your princesses but not like Dora.

Instead of using "loud" (at least I think that's what you mean) you use the word "lousy." I have no idea where you learned it. But it cracks me up because you are usually referring to one of Belay's trucks making a "lousy noise" ...."Mommy, whats making that lousy noise?You think its that truck being lousy"
"Yes Adi, those truck are lousy, we should leave them at grammas house next time."

You tell us long, detailed stories all the time. If you don't know the answer to something you just reply with "yup". For example..."Adi do you know what that guy's name is?" "Yup, uhu" ..." so what is it?" ..."yup"...and this continues on and on.

You told your Mem (gramma)this morning that tomorrow you where going to drive to her house, but me and Belay were staying home. And the other night you told me you were driving to a restaurant to have dinner with all your friends. You made sure I knew that YOU were the one doing the driving. At least you knew that your friends had to sit in the back seat.
You are mastering the ladders, monkey bars and all the climbing thingys at the park, working hard on the tricycle and love "big girl"swings.

You still love to eat, although it does seem to be calming down a little. Cereal and Mac & Cheese are by far your favorite. Oh and how could I have almost forgotten about your hat. You have a pink baseball cap that you wear every single day and the other night even asked to sleep in it. I told you it would be fine if you slept in it, at that moment I saw a love in your eye that I swear I've never seen before. I am secretly very excited about this hat thing, because it makes me feel like there still a chance. A chance that you give up the tulle skirts and purple dresses for a tee shirt and jeans. I remember wanting to sleep in my favorite hat.

You go to preschool 2 mornings a week, although I think you really would like to go everyday. Its only for a few hours but you cry when its time to go home.There has been no preschool all summer but you start up again soon, in a week and a half (not that I'm counting) I hope you are excited about it as you used to be. I love you guys!!!

Moving on up to bigger and better

2010-08-26T14:23:00.000-04:00

Today I am relieved!
I passed the NCLEX (nursing boards to offically become and RN) It was tough and all consuming while I studied for them all summer. After the distraction of the adoption and being in Africa during my last week of classes, I felt an extra stress on passing this test. It has been a long road getting here, but I am glad I did it and now I can MOVE ON. I can think about anything I want now, not just test questions. And I can hang out with my kids, not shoe them away while I study.
Now, on to job hunting for the perfect 15 hr a week job!!!

The Crowning Glory of Andy

2010-08-13T21:03:00.000-04:00

Nope. It's not being the father to these 2 goofballs. Instead...

It happened. The moment Andy has been waiting for for 2 1/2 years. During a slight disagreement between hubby and I this afternoon, Adi and her sweet 2 year old insight, came running in the room yelling "Mom, don't be mean to MY daddy!" She listened to the story and took sides. She choose Daddy's side. Good riddance to all those night nursing her or the 15 hours of labor or the 40 1/2 weeks in my belly.

Wedding day in the Big Easy

2010-08-09T20:20:00.000-04:00

I am going to post a happy anniversary Andy post today because on Aug 11, our 4th anniversary, we will be in NEW ORLEANS! Yup, Andy surprised me with a quick jaunt to the Big Easy. It will be quick, but oh so worth it. Kids will be with Mem and Apa (my parents) and our neighbor is house sitting the furry guys and we will be FREE for 2 1/2 days. We have only left the kids for about a 12 hour overnight so this is a big deal.
Andy, I'll save the internet world from having to hear me talk about how much I love you. But I do, and Happy Wedding day +4 years.

Kids room finally got a makeover

2010-08-06T21:29:00.000-04:00

After long deliberation, the kids room finally got painted. We were going for a nice earthy orange.But this blue green turned out great. Its peaceful and still fun, feminine and boyish enough.We still need to finish the trim but it's a start.I also tried to get the room cleaned up before I took the pictures, but the little monsters where doing their best to pull out every toy while I was snapping away.

Adi's bed.

On the wall I hung 8 little cork board squares so as she grows and her obsessions change (like the color purple,butterflies, and Dora) So she can decorate as she pleases. I suppose one day there may be pictures of rockstars and movie stars pinned there.

I had been looking for a sweet mobile or something to hang over her bed, similar to the one we got Belay in the markets in ET. But I could not find a single thing I liked, so I made one. Its pretty basic, a stick with purple ribbon wrapped around it and pretty butterflies (bought at Micheal's) hanging from fishing

Belays bed.

This painting of the baby elephant is titled "He reminded me of my two year old in so many ways..."By Lea Bell . Well said. We have had this painting for a while, long before we had kids. Once Adi was born we put it in her room, but it feel like it finally found a home over Belay's crib.

The "Dancing Africans" Mobile (as I like to call it) was one of the few precious items brought home from the markets in Addis Ababa.

His shelf seems to have turned into a parking garage for all the trucks

This photograph of Belay was made from his referral photo. It was the only picture we had of him for a few months. It will always be close to our hearts.

And Adi's eye's from about the same age.

"play area"

(Really it's just a lot of books )

This painting is an original by artist Sara Faulkner.

Humility and Selflessness

2010-08-05T21:03:00.000-04:00

I was reminded, after spending time with a friend who recently had a new baby, about the selflessness and humility it takes to be a parent. Priorities no longer include how many hours at the office I logged and how much bigger my pay check will be because of it, the rat race of getting ahead in my career no longer matters, what new resturants we've been to or how many parties we've thrown are a mute point, and lazy saturdays of watching movies in bed are a thing of the far far past. It was so easy to say pre kids that we could only "afford" so many or that having a kid would make getting a career that much harder. And while these facts are very much a reality in my life, I would not change a single thing about it.
To write about oneself being selfless seems to be somewhat of an oxymoron yet it is one of the only ways to describe parenting. You are giving all of yourself to another being. Whether it is something you as a parent strives for or not, you are undoubtable doing so in even the smallest of ways on a daily basis. From the early months of waking to feed your baby, whether you are able to physically provide the food from your breast or not, to the toddler years of wearing bananas on your work shirt and having a purse full of diapers and sippy cups instead of ...well what else would one carry in a purse?
You are giving all of yourself to your child. You are being selfless, even when you spend a night out with your girlfriends, because you are most likely thinking, worrying, longing for you children.

To write about being humbled is another thing. I am not sure that all parents are humbled in their everyday. I think that some, while still giving their all to their kids and being as selfless as the next parent, still find ways to keep their pride. Whether they wake hours before their kids to "maintain" their pre child looks(maybe its a 10 mile run, maybe its a shower and clean ironed clothes), or work late into the night after the little ones are in bed to "maintain" their career and stay at the top, these parents are still holding onto their pride. I find it admirable that there are parents out there that are capable of surmounting these, in my mind, unattainable tasks. They still get to win races, have careers, get raises and promotions. But for those of us who instead have taken the other path, to be humbled day in and day out, are living in such a way that only a parent can understand and even desire of themselves. Until last night, I am not sure I wanted to be humbled this way. I still wanted and tried to win races and dreamed of a career. While I do hope these things still happen, I have come to terms that they will come in due time.

I feel my humility everyday when my fellow graduate from nursing school ask me where I am working and I reply that my priorities lie with my babies and I am hoping to find someone flexible enough to understand that and still be willing to give me a chance and hire me. When we think about the economy and the housing market and see so many family and friends snatching up amazing deals on incredible, gorgeous houses and knowing that our growing family is growing right out of our little bungalow, we are humbled. We are choosing instead to work less hours and spend more hours together. While I would love so much to move into a spacious, roomy house, and often day dream about it, instead I choose to not work full time in order to cook lunch for my babies everyday and be home when they go to bed. And we are humble in our wonderfully, cute bungalow where we are lucky enough to live.

When all is said and done, I still choose life with kids. I am rejoicing in the joy they bring me every single day. To watch them grown and learn is truly a miracle of life. There is no other way to describe it. To hear Belay work on one word for days and the suddenly he masters it and doesn't stop repeating that word over and over again, is a gift. Watching Adi turn into a little girl who carries on full conversations and makes us laugh so hard has been the highlight of my summer.

Floyd Fest

2010-07-29T20:26:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was our first camping trip with both kids. Adi is an old pro, but we weren't sure how Belay was gonna do. And they love it! We went to a music festival, floyd Fest, in the blue ridge mountains off the parkway in VA. It was our second year going and even better than the first.
The heat was bad, mainly due to the lack of shade and the camping was all on a slope, but everything else was perfect. Great music, headlined by the Levon Helm Band, beautiful mountains, lots of dancing and good friends.

We worried about if and how they were going to sleep.

Yes, they slept. Yes, that is Belay under the stroller in the last photo, attemping to get him in some sort of shade.

Why is everyone shouting?

When fuzzy head falls into a pile of leaves and rolls around this is what happens.

My boys, looking less amused with my photography.

And my little tree hugger.

Dinner with a 1 and 2 year old

2010-07-27T18:59:00.000-04:00

"Adi, turn around and eat your dinner!"

Adi replies" I just looking at something".

Me again " What are you looking at?"

" Just that cute, big, huge mountain."

Adi says, referring to the mountain view from our kitchen window.

" I will climb and climb and climb and get to that mountain and twirl and twirl and turn into a princess and I'll get high heels and Belay will get princes shoes that are boots and he will turn into a princes."

"Okay Adi, but for now will you just eat your dinner?"

"Okay mommy, but I am a princess and I will go to ballet when I am 3!"

Adi always includes her brother in all her day dreams and stories of the adventures they go on.

A moment for my boy

2010-07-22T08:38:00.000-04:00

Who is this little Ethiopian pretending he likes to read? Because I know it's not my son, my son has never sat in a chair and opened a book. My son has no time in his busy day of being a monster to sit and read.

A moment for my girl

2010-07-20T21:16:00.000-04:00

Adi,
Today you were difficult! From 3:30 am when you first woke up until 8:00 pm when I was begging you to go to bed, you were difficult. You tested my patients, you threw a marker at my nose, you made me insane today.
Now I know, when the going gets tough, I get crabby. While I'm praying for a goodnight sleep for us all and a better day tomorrow I got to end tonight with the greatest joy a mother can have. As I brought you back to bed for the third time this evening, you turned to me and whisper (so as to not wake your brother) "will you rock with me?"So we rocked and within moments you were fast asleep in my arms, and I kept rocking for a long time. Holding my first baby girl in my arms while she sleeps is a joy I will never get enough of. I love you sweet Adi. Thank you for making me a stronger person every day.

Tucka Tucka

2010-07-19T09:10:00.000-04:00

I'm finding myself with a few quiet moments as the kids and Andy are all still sleeping. Poor Adi seems to have a summer bug and is pretty run down with a fever. This is the first sickness that our house has seen since getting home and healthy after Ethiopia. And the reason for that is...Andy is not in school, I am not in school or at the hospital, Adi is not in school! So the trick is, no socializing and we all stay healthy!!!

Aside from Adi being sick, my sweet babies couldn't be better. It has been over 2 months home now and I am seeing what I hoped to see a few months from now. The way they have adjusted to each other can often bring me to tears. Yesterday Belay (who still only says "hi" "mamma" and "dada") leaned into Adi and gave her a huge lip puckered kiss right on the lips and I heard Adi whisper back to him "I love you too Bay." How did she know that that kiss meant "I love you?" I don't know, but she did.

While Belay only has a few words he still manages to communicate perfectly with us through nods, points and the different sounds he makes. Also him and Adi, and I hear this is common with twins, seem to have their own language. It stems from the babbles of Belay but Adi will talk right back to him and they both understand it. The main vocabulary words consist of "tucka tucka." One might say my 2 1/2 yr old with a vocabulary of thousands and who has spoken in full sentences for a year now is regressing now that she likes to say "tucka tucka " all time. We're hoping its a phase. And while we do at times worry about Belays language development, I think it must be common for young toddler adoptions. I guess we have a little while before we start panicking.

Belay is just shy of 17 pounds. I have no idea the inches he has grown, but his feet and legs are pressed way up against the back of the seat in the car since he is still in the rear facing infant "bucket" seat. They say to have your child in the upright front facing car seats they have to be 20 pounds but he is beginning to hate the car and what 16 month old with 9 teeth sits like an infant? So hopefully soon he will get his "big boy seat" like Adi's and car trips can become pleasant again, relatively speaking of course.

In other news, my first triathlon was yesterday. And I had to say "first" because there will be others!
It was great, and my number one fans were all there. My mom and dad came to watch and they haven't seen me race since high school . I think it brought them right back to circa 1998.

a sneak peek

2010-07-12T21:09:00.000-04:00

...at what we've been doing around here these days.

Very soon I hope to post "after" photos of the "mud pit" and back porch

sweet days

2010-07-08T21:32:00.001-04:00

                    It seems the dog days of summer have gotten the better of me, as I have been fairly absent in my updates on our sweet Belay and life as a family of four. We are living our days out in a dream pretty much! No on rushing off to work, days at a time of not getting in the car, BBQs with the neighbors, swimming pool play dates, and lots of work both inside and outside the house.
                Aside from the long hot summer days of learning to be parents of two, I've been filling the rest of my time studying for my nursing boards and training for my first triathlon. Training could be more intense as I consistently choose to spend that extra hour in the morning drinking coffee and playing in the kids room with them. Studying could be more intense but I seem to be choosing to spend the extra hours at night after kids are in bed hanging out with Andy.
               Belay couldn't be doing better. Every day him and Adi play without fighting longer and longer. Today we even heard little giggles coming from the corner between the couches and under the side table to find them "hiding in the fort" and attacking the cat together. They often conspire together and usually both end up in time out, but what else can you say for sibling bonding. Belay still loves his daddy more than any living, breathing, moving, thing in the world, but has been know to cry when I leave the house. He even runs across the room to snuggle in to my neck and give me a kiss smack on the lips to then immediately return to playing.

Adi and her best friend Addi wearing their matching star floats

Belay and Adi with their cousins on 4th of July

true happiness

2010-06-27T21:21:00.001-04:00

Things seem to be settling down here. Doctor appointments are over for now. Andy is home for the summer. We escaped to the beach for a few days and feel relaxed and rejuvenated . Suddenly I feel normal again. At least I think this is what normal feels like. The every second of the day worrying and stressing about the adoption is over. Every other free worry space in my brain consumed with how on earth I'm going to finish school is over. And while I still have one major stress in my life right now pertaining to my career (i.e passing the NCLEX and finding a job) it seems ok to put it to the back burner for a while. Ever if just for the next month, to truly enjoy this feeling of life. Life as a mom and nothing else.

In this time, as just a mom, I'm finding true happiness. I'm also finding time to do things like
1. Brush my dogs so I at least don't have to see the hair flying off their bodies as my floors get hairier by the minute
2. Wash the dog's bed...see #1
3. Grow vegetables and herbs and even flowers
4. vaccum the hairy floors ...see #1
5.make sandwiches into shapes like stars and moons for the kids
6.provide more than a bag of goldfish as snacks for the kids
7. cook Ethiopian food with my hubby
8. enjoy the food with my hubby
9. Swim in my neighbors eye sore ( I mean above ground "pool')
10. kiss lots of boo boos

Belay's 1st birthday

2010-06-19T22:12:00.002-04:00

Do any one year olds ever enjoy their birthday party?

The cake. 4 layers. Red velvet & vanilla, thank you Betty Crocker. Cream cheese frosting. Frosting made and cake decorated by yours truly. The picture didn't come out great, but the cake was pretty stinkin cute.All the kids got to take home the little animals, which was a hit.

Belay went down for a nap right when the fun started

My niece watching her balloon float away.

And look who woke up to join his party after everyone left

An awesome birthday gift from good friend. Handmade soft leather shoes with Daddy's team Oakland A's. Which is especially great because we have had a tough time finding shoes for this little guy since most feet his size aren't walking yet. He loved them and didn't want to take them off all day.

moments we learn from

2010-06-17T08:21:00.000-04:00

I don't think the scares will ever stop when it comes to our kids. The kind of scares that really make your heart stop. That make you wonder "what if". What if I had been too late. The kind of scare that you won't ever forget, and hopefully will never do again.

The first one I remember was when Adi was about 4 weeks old. We had gone out to breakfast with some friends. She was still in the "bucket" car seat. The ones that snap into a base in your car, but can be toted along like a handbag when the baby is sleeping. So naturally we tucked her sleeping self under our arm, seat and all, and headed to breakfast. We unbuckled her and passed her around, being that she was the new baby and all, everyone wanted to hold her. Then we tossed her back in the bucket, snapped the bucket into the base in the car and headed the 7 minutes home. Once at home, we realized that while we snapped the seat into the base but we failed to actually buckle Adi into the carseat itself. One little fender bender, or worse, could have sent her flying, I thought. It's funny, 2 1/2 yrs later, that I'm actually blogging about this. For months after that I couldn't tell anyone about the incident. I didn't want to admit what maladjusted parents I thought we were. However,as far as I know, we have never done that again.

Last summer, Adi and I headed to the grocery store. It was 8:30 am and getting hot. Somehow when I put Adi back into her carseat (hmmm the car seats keep being involved....I swear I learn my lessons) she clicked the lock on my key that caused the car to lock, but the door was still open. I didn't know she clicked the button at the time. I thought it'd be easiest to just leave the purse/diaper bag in the car to be "quick" then ended up juggling a toddler, keys, wallet, cellphone, 2 bags of food in one hand, a jug of milk in the other and a bottle of wine under my arm. So I tossed my keys on the front seat as I often used to do, one less thing in my hands. Then, once Adi was buckled in I shut the door. All four doors shut and locked. Adi inside. My keys inside. Summer sun getting hot. Sh*t. Then I cried and screamed and called my husband on my phone, which luckily was not in the car. He didn't answer. 15 calls later still no answer. Turns out he was in the shower. I called my neighbor and she could barely understand me as I tried to explain that Adi was locked in the car. She came over and got Andy's attention. He came and saved the day (it was probably about 10 min total but felt like an hour)Meanwhile Adi sat happily in her seat and I made funny faces at her and sang songs through the shut glass in between turning my head to cry and scream (so of course she didn't see me panic). I NEVER shut all four doors of any car now without the keys in my hand, even if I am positive the car is unlocked and the keys are in my bag, Never.

Later, when I was telling a friend about my horrifying experience she told me she knew people who had done that before. When I asked her what they did she said "cried, screamed and called 911." So I guess I wasn't too far off.

In the last 2 1/2 years, lots of these things have happened. Incidents that leave your heart racing and your nights haunted with dreams of being locked behind bars for leaving your child to swelter in the car in July. And today I did it again. This one was bad! While I never hope this happens to any moms out there, please reassure me that it has and its okay. Because I'm having trouble shaking this one.

We headed to the pool with some friends for a fun "real pool" play date. It was one of those pools that has the kiddie side where the water starts on flat ground and gradually gets deeper. It's really fun and actually manageable for little ones who can't swim yet. The day was going great. Between all of us there are 4 moms and 1 dad, not including the lifeguard and all the other moms standing in the wading area.

I walked about 10 feet away into the grass to change Belay's diaper and asked my friends to keep their eyes on Adi. I also kept my eye on her the whole time I was in the grass with Belay. I watched as she wadded into the pool and keep walking as the water got deeper. She was literally in a circle of adults. Then I watched as she tripped, or so that's how it looked, and fell face first into the pool. Then she didnt get up. I was already halfway to her shouting "get Adi get Adi "over and over again. She honestly looked like she had already drowned. I grabbed her and she screamed and all the moms and I cried and screamed. Then, when we all calmed down and replayed it one mom said, " when I looked down and saw her, her eyes where open and she was just looking around." It was true, she wasn't flailing her arms or splashing trying to get up. She was floating face down looking in the water. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or bad. If she was drowning and had I not got to her would she have known to splash and flail and lift her head so someone would notice. Or, was she totally content watching the water, not knowing yet that she couldn't breath under there. Either way I got to her in probably less than 3 seconds. She may not have gotten so upset had we all not been hysterical. No wonder no one noticed her. She was totally still and silent (not that that is an excuse because the way I was screaming was pretty hard to ignore). After a few minutes of snuggling and crying she asked if she could "go swimming like a fish again." And when we got home, she told daddy that she "saw fishies while she was swimming like a fish, and it was a little scary." Was she drowning or just "swimming like a fish?" Either way it was terrifying and if I had not been watching her like a hawk and left Belay midway through diaper change to sprint into the pool and grab her what would have happened. I'm so glad I didn't find out and I hope I never will again.

The mud pit

2010-06-14T22:26:00.000-04:00

Here's the "before" shots of the front yard, aka "mud pit".

Hoping for an "after" shot pretty soon .

The kids thought they'd add to the shock value by pulling out all the real junky toys for the photos

walked into see this during nap time. (No, they don't share a crib)

Father and son

Who needs a pool membership when you've got this

a new look

2010-06-07T22:42:00.000-04:00

It was about time. Also, I am not patient and this was the only "family photo" we have so far. I say "family" because it was, in fact, a group shot. It was taken on the roof deck of the guest house we stayed of all 4 traveling families together. Its a cute picture and I feel bad cropping it. But I couldn't wait, I needed to update our family photo. Belay had to be included.

As I am still making my way through learning to blog, my blog may change often. But for now, this will due.

The title had to change too, of course.

Our big adventure

2010-06-05T10:14:00.000-04:00

Andy has had a long last week of school, including many evening commitments. I am totally not used to him coming home so late, so I have had quite an adjustment. But tonight I was bound and determined to venture out and have an adult conversation with someone other than Adi. While lately she seems more like 16 than 2, I have to remember that there is more to the world than her pink tricycle and Dora the Explorer.
So, I packed up Belay in the sling and put Adi in the backpack on my back and headed down the trail behind my neighbors house to the local Highland Brewery . It's about a 5 minute walk from my front door to beer in hand. We head there most friday nights. But walking solo with 2 kids plus a bag to hold bottles, sippy cups, diapers, cell phone, wallet, you get the point, was a first.

It went great. We had a blast. I met up with "adult" friends and got to have "adult conversations" about our kids. Hey, what else is there to talk about, right?

I wish I had a photo of me with Belay strapped in the front and Adi on the back but no such luck .
I did manage to get this one photo of the night in the midst of wrangling the kids.