Wednesday, June 2, 2010

One month with Belay

 As the school year winds down and summer begins I find myself excited for the long days of summer.  I just love coming back inside after being out in the sun, sweating, running, playing,swimming all day. And even more so when I'm doing it with my kids.  I love when the mid afternoon daily rain shower forces us in to read stories and cuddly, before running back outside.  I also love that my husband have 2 1/2 months home for summer break (ahhh the sweet life of teachers).

In just the last week summer has really come on strong. Between Adi's preschool end of the year program, my nieces preschool graduation, my husband's school's end of the year program, memorial day bbq's, and lots of pool and sandbox time, we are getting ready for 3 months of sweet summer.
The kid's even got new swim suits. Adi would have nothing to do with anything except a teal little mermaid suit made out of what looks like "mermaid"scales...really classy. It really adds to the class of the sand box, pool, and countless toys in our front yard mud pit (which so help me god better be a patio by the end of the summer, or I may be trading my husband in for one of those "handy" ones). Belay, bless his little heart, got a 3-6 month suit that falls right off its so big. I just couldn't bare to buy a 0-3 month swim suit for my 14 month old. Maybe with a really chunky cloth diaper under it, it will at least stay up.

 Adi in her spider shirt and pink skirt on the far left singing "itsy bitsy spider"

 Adi and her best friend at school hugging good bye for the summer.

      Adi and her teacher Ms. "kiki"
At daddy's end of the year program, belay had his tradition ET garb on too, but I couldn't manage to get them both at same time.

                                 proud daddy, proud brother. At Adi's play.
          Belay and his proud new uncle Tim at his cousin's preschool graduation.

                                                  Belay rockin the pink diaper cover.

Now onto whats been going on.
 Belay seems to be adjusting really well. It's like he has always been here. We, like most Adoptive parents, were worried about attachment.  We had heard advise such as, to not allow others to feed or change your baby, or put him to sleep. Such tasks should be left for Andy and I so he learns we are his parents. That we should lay low for a while, just the immediate family, and "bond". While both sets of grandparents were aware of such advise, we didn't choose to really enforce these rules.

It reminded me somewhat of after Adi was born.  In fact, it was  "suggested "by our midwife that we ask our friends to leave the hospital so we could concentrate just on our new family. Now, that's just not how we role. Our friends are like family and our family won't stay away even if we locked the doors and turn out the lights:)

Grant it, for the first few weeks home, we didn't see anyone. I blame my insanity on that.  With the jet lag finishing school combo I didn't want anyone wanted to see the true insane woman I had become. (Whose idea was that anyways?) But since I've pulled my head out of the clouds we have been carrying on with life just the same.  Belay has now meet just about everyone one in town. He has yet to meet his aunts and uncles on my side, but hopefully soon. 

My mom, who has been wonderfully supportive this whole time and has read as much  if not more about international adoption than me, has been waiting to "bond" once he has properly attached to Andy and I. She also put her extra love into Adi, making sure she did not feel left out of the oooing and aaaing. While I so very much appreciated all the attention and help she gave with Adi, I had begun to wonder when she and Belay would hit it off.  My worries we eased this weekend at her "40th" (which would have made my mom 7 when she birthed my oldest sister, but we all went along with it non the less:) birthday party this weekend.
 The birthday party kinda doubled as a "Welcome Belay" party too. It was a chance for all my parents friends to see their beautiful grandchildren. This is where and when I realized things were all going to be okay.  Belay knows I am mom.   He was all smiles to all the guests and was even happy to play with the other kids there, get passed around from one 7 yr old to the next as they giggled with glee at how cute he was, poke the other 8,9,10 month old babies in the eyes, and dance dance dance in front of the crowed with his Mem (gramma) while Apa (grampa )and his "band" played guitar. My mom saw what she needed to see too. She saw the love in his eyes and comfort and joy in his heart and knew it was now her turn to step in and fall in love.
While we still have and will continue to have our hard days, we are just a normal family now.  Adi loves her little brother and Belay loves his big sister. It is often showed in kisses that turn into bits and hugs that look more like head locks, but hey, thats what its like in any house with a 1 and 2 yr old right?


  1. I just have to comment.

    Adi is NOT singing Itsey Bitsey Spider in the first picture. I was in attendance and I know what she's doing. She is, instead, hating on that ugly black and white shirk (sp intentional) covered in spiders. Who could blame her. A girl that loves color and beauty?! What was Kiki thinking?

  2. PS Jay, Weird, why do my comments come up as Maxine instead of Mem?

  3. i don't know, I was just wondering myself why gramma was on the internet and how she new my blog address or how to get to it. I guess the computer knows you two are one heart beating as two

  4. glad that the adjustment is going well....I know you will enjoy your summer with your two sweeties!!!

  5. Hi, Jane...miss you guys! :o)