learning and re learning and learning again

So far letting go has been a good thing. Also, engaging your kids seems to pay off.  Adi has reached the age where a planned activity and guidance in doing that activity will buy me at least 10 if not 20 minutes. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but it seems like eternity when wild man Belay is hot on the loose.  Wild man, on the other hand, is of the age where a planned activity results in fraid nerves, a lot of shouting, a headache, tears, and 45 minutes of crying in his room while trying to "pull it together" to rejoin the family.Ahhh, the things you learn day by day when parenting your second child. For instance, or should I say for another instance( is that a word? probably not, but I like it) Little boys do not slowly fade.  Little boys play until they pass out. It is 100% or 0 %.  Telling Belay that it is time to leave the park is the meanest most horrible worst thing I can do as his mom in one day.  Especially when he has finally mastered the entire park.  There are no off limits anymore, he can climb, slide, swing, jump, shimmy, and scoot with the best of them.

 Back to today.  It was the first real fall day in my mind. Chilly enough for a sweater but sunny(until the rain came of course). So, in honor of such a day I suggested we bake cookies, oatmeal spiced cookies. Adi was thrilled at this suggestion and grabbed her apron and even scooted her little chair up to the counter. This was the first time I actually "baked" or let her help in any matter in the kitchen.

She did great. The cookies were yummy even though they came out kinda big. And we all enjoyed eating them when daddy got home and the clouds rolled in. Well all snuggled up on the couch with big glasses of almond milk (the most delicious beverage in the world) and a plate of warm spiced oatmeal cookies and some fleece blankets.


Of course, twiddle dee and twiddle dum got the lick the mixing spoons.

 Has he ever had anything so good?

 Post cookie baking dance party (a regular occurance at our house) check out those moves of Adi's in the back ground.

 Still smiling, just cause.

 After all was said and done and jammies were on, Adi resquested Andy to take some photos of her and she posed herself this way(what 2 yr old does that?) The sky out of our window actually looks really cool as the storm was blowing through, cool enough to follow the crazy dance party picture...maybe not but a close one at that (wow that was a really long sentence, and post).

I am letting go

Today I am starting fresh. Well, maybe tomorrow since Its 9:51 pm, not much left in today.
Tomorrow, I am a Mom, a stay at home mom. I am not an unemployed RN. Will I ever be an employed RN? I hope so, but in the mean time I am going to be content in the place that I'm in. This job search has been the hardest in someways and easiest in others. My family won't be living on the streets without this job, the bills will be paid, life will go on as it has. Unlike all those other new jobs I've had in my life this is the first one in my "field," this is the job that I don't plan on "quitting when it sucks" (and god knows I've had enough of those.) But why has it been so difficult? The economy for one, yes well all know that its one of the hardest times to find a job in history, but I have to add that those exact words were the ones I was hearing in 2003 when I graduated college the first time and couldn't find a job.  The town we live in, yes, all of us who choose to live in this amazing town in the Blue Ridge Mountains, have had to make sacrifices somewhere (usually in way of employment.) And  those who landed the dream job in the dream town do not bring home the dream pay check.

But, an unemployed RN, is there such a thing? I, like most, didn't think possible. But I guess anything is possible when times are tough. So if you're out there reading this and need a flexible nurse for a great practice on a part time basis, with above average pay, I'm you girl (just kidding! ...or am I???;)

Back to today (or tomorrow I should say), I am accepting where I am in my life and letting go of the search in hopes that when the time is right for my hodgepodge family, this dream career will fall into my lap.
*honestly, who does that happen for? Not me, I gotta work my tail off for the things I want!

Tomorrow these little boogers are my job.

 Seriously, who does the little Ethiopian think he is with that smile?
 

This is my life

One is sick, one got shots, none of us slept much last night. It was a hard day. Might I quickly add that the one that got shots has spent the rest of the day limping around with a huge pouty face and acting like his legs might actually fall off.  After the previous day of tantrums, timeouts, and higher than normal voice volume, I felt sorry enough and let him lay on my lap all afternoon with a bottle.
Now, onto the one that is sick. First mind you that she was not sick enough to say no to a quick jaunt down the the nature center( an animal rescue center/zoo of sorts for our small town which happens to be the only thing within walking distance of our house.)

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Their favorite thing to do at the Nature Center is to play in this little log cabin. I don't blame them.  I like to sit and imagine what life was like a century and half ago.  Today, Adi found a spot by one of the big open windows in the cabin which over looked the sheep and goats. When I glanced in to check on her she was perched up at the window, bent arm with a small fist tucked under her chin, gazing out to the sheep and goats. When I asked her what she was doing she said " this is my life mama" with a huge smile on her face. Can a 2 yr old be that deep? does she wanna be a farmer when she grows up? is she a farmer now?" I'm kicking myself that I didn't snap a photo but without the camera my only option was my phone camera and obviously I was to busy gabbing on it to take one.

a much anticipated fun day at the apple orchard

The "cheese" face

Adi's "cheese" face

The excitement of finally being at the long awaited apple orchard

Uncle Tim. One of Adi's favorite people in the world.

HELLOOOO BELAY!

Best big sister in the world!

yum

yummy

Yummy like Maya's sassy belt

Padme still deciding which to choose

wagon ride through the orchard

The best shot of all 4 cousins we could get...thats why people hire photographers or end up at the mall in one of those picture places...

whew. what a day!

Things that make me happy

Pink tutu. Pink cheeks. Glorious long hair blowing in the wind. Andy's sweet smile!

My son dressed in a crown, one high heel and no pants!

The sky is waking up

 

Have I mentioned lately  how much I love these two?

They got matching Halloween skeleton  jammies from gramma and I had to attempt a photo of them together. This fuzzy cell phone shot was the best I could do.

In the mornings Adi climbs into bed with us. I'm sure Belay will too, once he is free from the cage we call a crib. The last few mornings Adi has whispered, to whom ever was listening, that the sky is awake and time for us to wake up too, but the trees are still sleeping so we have to be quiet.  See the sky was light and turning blue while the trees still look black in the shadow of the rising sun. She has also been giddy at the sight of the sunrise telling us there are 2 pink skies (one sky out of each window). She never ceases to amaze me. 

While we moan and groan at sound of he feet pounding the floor as she races down our hall at the crack of dawn, I secretly can't wait until there are 4 feet pitter pattering down that hall and 2 voices telling us the sky in awake.

"Babies"

We watched the documentary "Babies" tonight.  It follows the early years of 4 babies around the world; Japan, Mongolia, Africa, and of course, the US. It proves that babies will be babies, kids will be kids, and siblings will be siblings, no matter where in the world they live. The opening scene is of two African babies playing with rocks and a plastic water bottle. Within minutes they are hitting each other and the younger brother bites the older one. The contrast of the scenes are anything but subtle leaving me feeling somewhat embarrassed to be American (Although the Japanese weren't too far off from the Americans.) How should I feel after seeing the baby American sitting in baby music class(not that my babies didn't take baby music, because they did) to then pan back to the little African licking up water from a mud puddle only to be joined  by his laughing brother and the Mongolian boys crawling around with the cattle and sheep giggling and smiling? Embarrassed is the only word that comes to mind.
 

This brings me back to the mango and ginger root story Andy and I like to tell. We traveled to an island called Dominica (not to be confused with the Dominican Republic) when I was about 8 weeks pregnant with Adi. Being newly pregnant with our first child we were quickly captivated by a little boy we met there. He must have been around 8 months old and was walking.  The only toys we ever saw him play with were a mango and a ginger root. He was an obviously happy child and obviously well developed seeing as he was walking well before the norm. 

On our return back to the states we began spreading the word that Baby Einstein videos were not, after all, the only way we can have smart babies. Who would have though? Nature, love, attention, a few objects to hold in the hand, that is all our babies needed!  Let me quickly say that our children do own more than a bowl of fruit to play with, not that it hasn't crossed my mind to leave them with nothing but apples as I wade through princess dolls and singing dump trucks.  In fact I am embarrassed with the amount of things that they  own.  The fact of the matter is, we BUY them these things. It makes them happy and in return we are happy. Then the new shinny toy gets swept under the couch or lost on the floor of the car  and forgotten by the happy child.  The child is still happy, and we buy them MORE.
Its a vicious cycle. One that I think I'm not alone in. We fight it but we lose, a lot.
But when it is all said and done, my babies are most like the....drum roll please.....Africans. And not just because 50% of them are African, but because they are happiest when left alone outside with unlimited dirt and rocks!! Where ever we go, they find the rocks. The rocks usually come home with us.  And in lieu of sand, our sand box is filled with rocks.