We ran into a friend the other night who works with Andy and she told us that her 3 yr old son believes that Belay is coming out of Andy's belly. Well, it makes perfect sense, he is not coming out of my belly so where else would he come from?
It was funny that she said this though, because from the get go we have joked about how this was Andy's pregnancy. He did ALL of the paperwork this summer while he was home and I was in school full time. He has had all the communication with our coordinator, and he will be able to feed this baby from the beginning(Adi was a boob or bust kinda gal). While I have thought about trying to breastfeed this baby, and actually plannned on it since we started thinking about adopting, I kinda gave up the idea since Adi weaned herself a few months ago and I had such a hard time and in fact was never successful at pumping. Also, Belay is a bit older and won't be solely on formula. But I also now see the beauty in Andy having ability to care for him totally on his own and his bonding won't be competing with my milk. Although after hearing about other IA parents bringing home their older toddlers who still wanted to nurse, I am completely open to letting him try and nurse if he feel drawn that way(not that he will get much in the form of milk but for attachment and comfort sake its all his)
I know the thought of this sounds absurd to many people reading this, but in the world of attachment parenting and international adoption it is quite common. As a mother who exclusively breastfed her daughter and continued to BF her until she weaned herself at 2 yrs, I truly understand the love and attachment that forms in such a way. To give this to my son would be an honor for me. But, back to the point of this post, Andy has equal amount of bonding ability this time around, and it truly is his pregnancy. It is beautiful to think of in that way. If this journey wasn't wonderful enough, thinking about what it has given my husband, who is already an amazing father to his daughter, is worth every bit of heart ache that has come along the way.