A year ago I was on top of things. I followed blogs, forums, information changes. I knew every bump that every family was going threw in their adoption. But now we're home. Belay is safe in our arms and no one remembers life without him. It's a rare day that I peruse through the agency forum or read the home page news.
We waited for a referral. It seemed like forever. From September 11th 2009 until January 11th 2010. So forever was 4 months. Not 22 months or 30 months. We waited for a court date from Jan 14th (date of official referral acceptance) until Feb 24, our first court date. Just over a month. Then we did not pass court. We were bummed, but sadly it had become the norm to not pass until 2nd or 3rd try.
So we were prepared.
March 10th came, and we passed court and became his parents, 2 weeks later.
April 16th arrived and we tried to hop on a plane but a volcano erupted. REALLY A VOLCANO?
So lets do the math. Sep 11until may 1st = 8 months. Felt like FOREVER. June, when we first signed on with our agency until May = 11 months. Thats it. Not even a year. Felt like FOREVER.
We had a few hiccups, that volcano being the main one. But in the grand scheme of things, that's a hiccup and a small one at that.
So when I read about families who have waited 20 plus months for a referral, 2 plus for a court date. Who then had to leave their kids in Ethiopia while they cam home to wait for months to go back and bring them home, I get shivers.
My heart pours out to them. But still they remain steadfast. Their love for these kids, some whom they have not met yet, conquers all these obstacles.
While I am eternally grateful for the minimal pain we endured to bring Belay to our family, I live in fear of doing what these families are doing now.
I dream of a third. Some times that third has an African mommy too, some times he/she doesn't.
I'm not sure I have the strength to do what I see these amazing people do now.
I have seen the pain of my babies face and not been able to hold him. I've worried about a tiny baby who couldn't gain wait and be able to do nothing about it. I have waited 11 months for you. Could I wait even longer? I don't know. I do know the love that follows is worth it. Maybe I am looking for signs of what's to come. Time will tell.